Allen is an amazing father. I know this and I'm grateful for this. Allen is far better than I at getting Owen to eat his vegetables, is largely responsible for Owen remaining (mostly) in a sitting position during his bath, and while the number of diapers I've changed probably exceeds his, Allen generally changes the more challenging ones. Owen lights up whenever he sees Allen (except when he first wakes up and is starving...) and delights in all sorts of daddy play, whether Allen is tossing a ball at him, tossing him, or simply crouching down and making what can only be described as the sound of a caveman doing a Scooby-Doo impression. It's incredibly endearing and makes me love Allen all the more.
However, a few developments this week have made me wonder if Allen is a little too good at this parenting thing. Like when our son crawled around me, as I sat with my arms outstretched, in order to get to Allen. Or when Owen began screaming inconsolably when Allen left his room for a moment while I was playing with him, but didn't even look up when I departed for a few minutes. Lately, when faced with being held by Mommy, Owen turns away and clings even more strongly to his father.
This development is not wholly unexpected. Long before Allen and I decided to have children, it was pretty clear that I would be the "bad cop," a "killjoy," the Fawcett family "fun police." After all, I don't like the volume of the stereo to be above 5, drive the speed limit and won a perfect attendance award my senior year of high school whereas Allen did not. I figured that Owen would eventually realize that Allen is a lot more outgoing and adventurous than myself and therefore prefer his company to mine. I just figured it would take longer than 11 months.
I wish I could say that this didn't bother me, but it does. I really thought that at this stage, if there was going to be a favorite parent it would be me. I am after all the mommy.
I wish I could say that this didn't bother me, but it does. I really thought that at this stage, if there was going to be a favorite parent it would be me. I am after all the mommy.
Posts
4 comments:
Elaine... I am so sad for you! I'm SURE that this is just a phase. After all, you did carry Owen for almost 10 months and you were the one who gave birth to him. Owen loves you dearly even if daddy is distracting him at the moment. You are a super mama!!!
The walking video was so cute!
Hope to see you soon,
Marlo
Elaine...you are a wonderful mom. Don't let these experiences get you down. There are many times that Owen will want you to hold him, play with him, feed him, change his diaper, and just be with him. Becky and I are experiencing this with Sam right now. He always wanted me to change him, put him to bed and read to him, but lately he has wanted mom to do all of this. It's hard for you to see this because he is your first child, but this is a phase that is normal.
Don't worry sis...it will get better.
Steve
Elaine, Owen will go through many phases in the years to come, and part of his learning is to play "control" with his parents. I assure you, you will both experience being the favorite many times in the years to come.
Remember, your love and excitement for Owen and his Daddy is reflected in Owen's excitement for you and for life. Hang in there.
Been there, done that!
I'm not a parent, so I thought I'd throw some outside the box ideas in the mix:
1. Get a life-sized cutout of Allen, so when Allen bypasses you to go for faux-Allen, he discovers that driving the speed limit and getting perfect attendance is much better than being corrugated and aloof.
2. Wear an Allen mask.
3. Make Allen wear an Elaine mask.
4. Every once in a while, walk past Owen and cry out for Allen, so Owen knows what it feels like.
Just some thoughts. Don't feel like you have to try them, although you'll never know whether they're effective if you don't try.
Post a Comment