Sweet Sixteen

Fifteen was an interesting year. With Owen leaving for college, Noa suddenly became an "only" child and our primary focus, which they had mixed feelings about. Sure, it was great that meals involved more sauces and less meat, but it also meant that when we asked how school was, there was no way to hide. They grew frustrated and asked for more space, which we gave until their teachers grew frustrated and we had to intervene. So fifteen was a learning year for us all – we learned to trust but verify and Noa learned that inactions also have consequences.

And also how much they missed their brother.

But aside from that, it was a pretty amazing year. Noa (finally) had a named character in a high school production (granted that name was "Baroness Elberfeld," but still). They sang in the spotlight and exhibited their work at an actual art gallery. They protested the new administration's stance on trans rights. They made Dutch babies and potato mochi and cake batter (though not always cakes). They started an affinity group. They volunteered at a food kitchen. They went to NYC without us (but with their director, their friends and some of their friends' parents). They went to Homecoming and the Spring Dance. They played in ensembles and team sports. They studied funerals (still not clear on why, but it was for school). They made movies. And they spent a lot of time with some pretty amazing friends.

Which is all to say, Noa contains frickin' multitudes. So happy birthday, little one, we love you and hope sixteen is amazing. Now go do your homework.

1. It can be confusing when your emotional support animal is also your captor.
2. Always trust in our Lord and savior, Billy Joel 
3. I'd hug you too dad, but Mom is more conveniently located.
4. Sometimes, it's all about perspective.
5. Live in a rainbow of chaos.
6.  Setting the tavern on fire to get out of a conversation that was going well?!? Ok Lysander, there are consequences to our actions.
7. It's not a gambling problem if you always win.
8. Here's the thing about a barbecue...
9. Let's be honest, kids are a lot.
10. And in the immortal words of KPOP Demon Hunters, It's the beginning of a new chapter for us. For the whole world. We're so excited to show you what's next.

The End of the Teens

Owen left for college a few days after his 18th birthday. As a result, we haven't necessarily directly observed a lot of what transpired this past year, but have been privy to the results. College was a bit of an adjustment, especially his first semester when some of his organizational challenges came home to roost (though the class he struggled with most, some variant of Intro to Life, might have been more of an indictment of Allen and my parenting skills). But Owen found his footing and finished his Freshman year thriving at SMCM. 

He joined the Climbing Club and Fencing Team and even became an officer in the Softball Club. He purchased mason jars at CVS and then drove to the shore in order to collect water samples for his Chemistry class. He registered and voted and then talked me down from the ledge when the results came in. He purchased Christmas presents for the whole family. He did his laundry regularly. He formed study groups. And he even came home for his Father's Birthday, for various holidays and Opening Day.

When he came home for the summer (or rather late Spring – St. Mary's gets out early), we found that over the course of two semesters, Owen had become a fully formed adult. He applied for a job and wrote a cover letter and arranged an interview and when he didn't get it, he pivoted to volunteer work at Meeting. He emptied the dishwasher unprompted. He made dinner. He made plans and drove around the monuments at night with friends.

But through it all, he still made time for his family. So while we're sad that he's heading back to St. Mary's soon (or rather soonish – St, Mary's also starts really late), we know that Owen will always come home. Happy birthday, Little Man, we love you so, so much.

1. Life is all about balance.
2. When God closes a door, He opens a window.
3. Some portals are magical. Others are filled with inaccurate scheduling information on Intro to Chemistry classes.
4. You've got a fast car (ok, maybe not that that fast...)
5. Disengage, beat, disengage, lunge.
6. When faced with being a Cassian or a Syril, always be a Cassian.
7. Don't just make a Mario level, make a whole world.
8. Wouldn't pitcher wins be a better stat if each game's outcome was recalculated with league average runs support?
9. You can never have enough parsley (unless it's dry and from Costco).
10. And in the immortal words of the 12th Doctor, I'm not trying to win. I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because I want to blame someone. It's not because it's fun. God knows it's not because it's easy. It's not even because it works because it hardly ever does... I DO WHAT I DO BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind! It's just that... Just kind.

50 Percent More than 10!

Fourteen started rough. September is always a hard month for Noa, but this past year it included entering high school as a freshman at a place they didn't originally want to attend and where they didn't have any friends. It was all very challenging. And then some other stuff happened. Things became overwhelming, which culminated in a break and a reset. 

Fortunately, October was better – upon re-entry they joined the school play as a Everybody's Dorito eating "Evil Acts" and became part of the theater clique. Noa went to Homecoming with a friend and started playing Diplomacy with a whole crew over lunch. Noa joined multiple craft and affinity groups. In the winter they were cast as an extra with a very involved backstory in Mean Girls. They once again jumped in the Potomac for charity (and this time they didn't fall). They joined Burke's softball team. Noa made baked goods for their friends (with various levels of success, but always mindful of food sensitivities). They made art and not so short stories and roasted eggplant. They were promoted to DCYOP's Youth Philharmonic. They applied for and got a job (which was only for a week and unpaid, but still!). The took more art classes and saved fellow students from exhaustion and poisonous plants. They finished the Capaldi arc of Doctor Who. They helped their big brother move into college and realized that they have strong thoughts about the brick ratio at academic institutions. And somewhere along the way, they found their smile again.

And so, we are cautiously optimistic about fifteen. In the past 12 months Noa has become a lot more comfortable with who they are and have surrounded themselves with some pretty great people that appreciate their awesomeness. And while I'm sure there will be bumps in the road, it feels like Noa has gotten better at navigating them.

So happy birthday, little one. We love you and hope your next trip around the sun is filled with light.

1. "I am a golfing god."
2. So many spheres!
3. There is only one true father. There are, however, a number of "dads" up for grabs at Burke. 
4. In case of emergency, there is a "Mark as Lost" feature on your iPhone. It is your best friend.
5. You can put a Duck on a leash, but you can't make them walk.
6. Feed the faceless baby.
7. Will ski for socks.
8. Ovens are terrifying. Stoves are fine. And toaster ovens are amazing. 
9. Sometimes your brother will convince you to watch a Doctor Who that ends with you in tears. And sometimes said brother needs to then by reminded that, "It's your fault for getting me invested!"
10. And in the immortal words of Quentin Tarantino in True Romance, "That's the way it goes. But don't forget, it goes the other way too."

 

Adulting

When Owen was born, I remember reading a number of articles about how most baseball and hockey stars had birthdays in the fall, just after the age cutoff for their leagues. The timing meant that they would always be the oldest and biggest kids in their age group, and would therefore dominate their sports. Owen, being born more than a month prior to the cutoff, would never enjoy this benefit, but given that neither Allen nor I were particularly sporty people, this didn't seem like such a huge loss. What took me slightly longer to realize and internalize is that because of Owen's summer birthday, we effectively get one less year of him at home compared to all those October and November babies. Now as we prepare to send him off to college two days after his 18th birthday, I'm regretting not waiting a little longer to start our family.

Though I will say that we have crammed a lot into those years, particularly this past one. Owen composed and performed opuses. He received a provisional license. He went to a school dance (though he didn't actually dance...). Owen flew across the country by himself, went to a music festival in NYC with his friends. He applied, got in, and selected a college. Owen graduated. He rediscovered his love of baseball. He combed his hair.

Which is to say, Owen is totally ready for his next great adventure. And while I'm sad that we won't be there for the day to day of it all, I'm so glad to have had all the time that we did with him, so proud of what he's become, and excited to see what he does next.

So happy birthday, little man, we love you so, so much. Now go start your next chapter (and don't forget to call).

1. Never underestimate the healing power of Neosporen.
2. En passant isn't for posers.
3. Football is life. Unless it's Minecraft and you're the poor armadillo they're using as the ball.
4. Always remember there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share a name. And that cannibalism sucks.
5. Strike a pose.
6. In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the police who investigate crime; and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. Also, on occasion, the art thief turned government witness.
7. "The six inning minimum is just an extreme suggestion to negotiate from. It's MLB announcing that they want starters to go deeper into games. When it all plays out we'll probably end up with the double hook."
8. I'll get by with a little help from my friends.
9. In the end, it all comes down to parallel parking.
10. And in the immortal words of the 11th Doctor, We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh.

The Fourteenth

Thirteen is a hard year to talk about. We had hoped that it would be a balm for all that had passed during Noa's twelfth year, and in a lot of ways it was. At their new school, Noa became engaged in an array of activities (theater, chorus, art, student council, Friends of Dorothy) and seemed to be in a better place. But in addition to all the highs that eighth grade brought, there were also some lows that were sad and painful and not something we really want to revisit. It's enough just to know that Noa got through it and for that we're incredibly grateful.

Noa found their people. They starred as Lady MacBeth and had a winning poem published. They finally started playing with a full orchestra. Noa was worshiped by a fifth grade cult. They officially outgrew me. They played an organized sport. Noa promoted composting for their school, jumped into freezing waters for the environment, debated ways to incentivize voting, and made sandwiches for the unhoused. Noa commuted. They slept in yurts. They organized a school dance that they even attended (however briefly). They were memorialized on a brick. 

And Noa spent much of the year visiting, applying and eventually getting into high school, where they will begin the next chapter of their life. And while it's maybe not the chapter they expected, I think their story will be a pretty amazing one. 

So happy birthday my not so little one. We love so, so much and are so thankful that you are in our lives. You've got this, Noa, and we've got your back.

1. If your day starts in Bethesda, your day isn't starting off well.
2. "Flannel is lesbian rice."
3. Middle. Always the middle.
4. "Look like th'innoent flower, But be the serpent under't"
5. Don't turn your back, don't look away and don't blink. Good luck.
6. Un, deux, trois... cat.
7. You can't second guess ineffability.
8. Step 1: Drink coffee. Step 2: Do things.
9. Any LGBTQ+ flag fan can tell you about the evolution of the Pride Flag, but only a true Queer Vexillologist has dug into decades old Tumblr discourse to opine on the perfection of the Neptunic flag.
10. And remember, always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.

The Edge of Seventeen

Sixteen was a really good year for Owen, which makes writing this post a little bittersweet. Because while this year Owen did a lot - first chair cello, driving permit, college visits, the SAT, AP tests, law school camp - with the exception of the driving permit and maybe his cello development, all of it was to advance his pursuit of higher education. This inevitably means that this time next year whilr we're posting about the trials and tribulations of 17, we will be preparing to move Owen into a dorm somewhere across the country (money is on either Colorado or the Mid-Atlantic). And while we are really excited for all that is in store for him, it's hard not to start thinking about all the things we will miss when we don't have full Owen access.

So, this year we've been trying to savor our time with Owen, and squeeze in special moments with him even while we help with his college essays and schedule college tours. This has involved a spur of the moment trip to NYC to catch one of the final performances of Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. And side trips to Garden of the Gods and a Rockies game while on a college tour. It's meant risking freezing temperatures (and aggravating a potentially debilitating hand injury) to ski down the Symphony Bowl for Owen's last DCPS February break. It's included taking him to his first official rock concert and letting him go to performance of his friends at the Kennedy Center all by himself. We have watched proudly as he's been featured in Duke performances and watched anxiously while Owen took the wheel. And we have watched a lot of Doctor Who through it all.

And in these special moments, we've learned just how ready Owen is for his next big adventure and all that follows (even if we're not quite ready for it ourselves). So happy birthday, our not so little man. We know that you'll have an amazing year and are just glad we're just glad to have a front row seat for it all.

1. Skier's thumb = Cellist's bane
2. Ignorance of the law is officially no longer an excuse.
3. Some people enjoy being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
4. Estonia, now there's some quality vexillology.
5. Queen to Rook 5.
6. Sometimes in life, you just have to improvise.
7. Some projects are bigger than others.
8. Home is where the Washington Monument is, followed by a very sharp left.
9. When you're about to do something very clever and slightly against the rules of the universe, it's important to be properly dressed.
10. And in the immortal words of Doctor Who, I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a mad man. And I've watched the universe freeze, and creation burn - I have seen things you wouldn't believe and I have lost things you will never understand - and I know things. Secrets that must never be told. Knowledge that must NEVER be spoken! Knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze! So come on then!!! Take It!!! Take it ALL baby!!! Have it! You. Have. It ALL!!!!

Thirteen

Twelve was heartbreaking – filled with loss and sorrow and not always the best of humanity. While there were moments of lightness and joy and lots of love from family and friends (and escargot!), it's still hard to look back at parts of this past year, knowing how much Nora went through. 

But they got through it, which is a testament to what an incredibly strong and amazing person Nora is. Despite it all, Nora made Junior Honor Society and climbed mountains this year. They threw axes and harvested honey. They puzzled. Nora plunged into the Chesapeake to save the environment, and into the Atlantic (just for fun). They made pasta and built a ukulele. They explored their artistic side and celebrated their love of musical theater. And all the while they leaned on their friends and their older brother, which involved some of the best of humanity, and also watching a lot of Doctor Who. 

Eventually, Nora was able to tell us what they needed and we were able to make some changes so that going forward Nora has less chaos in their life, and help with processing it. Hopefully, thirteen will be a less stressful year that gives Nora some peace and a safe space to be themselves, because quite frankly, they're awesome.

So happy birthday, little one. We love you so, so much and will always have your back. Now go blow us all alway.

1. Boba-Kiki, are they round or pointy?
2. Knowledge  is knowing tomatoes are a fruit; wisdom is not putting them in fruit salad.
3. Babies, from an artistic sense, didn't really come into their own until mid-fifteenth century.
4. "Think about all of those poor, orphaned highways just waiting to be adopted..."
5. Mochas!
6. Nora is good at things. Stuff is Nora's kryptonite.
7. It's Duck season...
8. She/Her, He/Him, They/Them. Us.
9. Never forget your emergency spoon. 
10. And in the immortal words of Jane Seymour in Six, 

You can build me up
You can tear me down
You can try but I'm unbreakable
You can do your best
But I'll stand the test 
You'll find that I'm unshakeable 

Sixteen Candles

If fourteen was trying, fifteen was amazing -- apparently, in-person Owen is a lot more outgoing and responsible than remote-schooled Owen. Work was completed independently and on time. Classes were participated in. Friends were made. Outings were organized. Things were done.

Owen went from being anxious about public transit, to navigating his way across the DMV area in order to meet up with friends, attend climbing class and join the occasional protest. He had an Instagram fan account devoted to him (until said account was hacked and deactivated). He volunteered for homeless coat and supply giveaways. He made second chair and Honor Roll. He projected bouldering goals. He breached a fortification. He got a mild case of COVID and recovered. He took the PSAT. He became an ally and advocate. He ate fish and chips. He wore fancy pants and even fancier coats.

And while we're really proud of all of these accomplishments (ok, getting COVID isn't so much an accomplishment as a diagnosis, but he conquered it nonetheless), what we admire most about Owen is the person he's become. Owen is an incredible friend and brother who meets people where they are and becomes the friend they need, without ego or agenda. He knows when to engage and entertain, but he also knows when people need space. Owen offers support and advice, and he always provides a safe place for the people he loves. And he did that for a lot of people this year that really needed it.

So yeah, fifteen was pretty amazing, and hopefully sixteen will be even better. Happy birthday, little man. You're an incredible person and we love you so, so much. Now go conquer the world.

1. The Doctor is in.
2. Sometime you have to overthrow a tyrant to make the world a better place...even if said tyrant is your aunt and the world is our annual beach competition.
3. My axe is restless in my hand. Give me a row of orc-necks and room to swing and all weariness will fall from me.
4. "That's illegal."
5. Wait for me, I'm coming.
6. The line between madness and genius gets blurry when you're skiing with your dad.
7.  Despite what you may think, nuclear reactors should not be the basis of selecting an institute of higher learning… though it can be a contributing factor.
8. And we talk and take in the view. We just talk and take in the view. All we see is sky for forever.
9. "Nostalgia is my favorite part of baseball."
10. And in the immortal words of the 12th Doctor, Hate is always foolish, love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.

Dodecagon!

We were anxious about eleven. It was the start of middle school in the middle of a Pandemic and a continuation of remote learning, only now most of Nora's friends were at different schools. There were bad thoughts and trouble sleeping and a lot of worrying.

But eleven ended up being amazing. Having received a new phone for their birthday, Nora and their friends from fifth grade organized numerous group chats, teams meetings and socially distant meet-ups.  Nora joined the drama club (and was cast as Little Red Riding Hood and Puss-N-Boots in Virtually Ever After), was promoted to seventh grade math, received a general award for "Excellence," and occasionally got to attend school in person. They published their first book. They met their friends at Eastern Market for lunch and picked up dinner at Whole Foods. They made butter. 

Nora gathered in tents to perform Dvorak, tricked us all into cat-sitting (but not cat-adopting!), rode their first roller-coaster, went a whole week without devices at sleep-away camp, and bested the entire family in pursuit of the Pelican Cup.

But mostly, Nora figured out who they are this year, and in the spring shared with the family that they're non-binary (they'd told their friends, who were incredibly supportive, earlier). It's been a bit of a learning curve for us as we navigate proper pronouns and try to come up with catchy alternatives to gendered nouns (our most radical suggestion is "nile" for "niece"), but Nora has has been an incredible resource and guide along the way.

So yeah, eleven was pretty amazing. We watched our baby become an incredibly mature and self-aware person – while still not being eligible to be vaccinated (an oversight which should be at least partially corrected today...).  Happy birthday, little one, we love you so much and are so proud of who you are and who you are becoming. Here's hoping twelve is even better.

1. You never want to be the person throwing cold water on something, unless it's your father.
2. It's not easy, being a tween...
3. "What the heck?"
4. Why be negative when you can be Positive Pineapple Paul?
5. Fake your way through, strum along, and everything's ok.
6. Sometimes a hike isn't a hike so much as a death march.
7. It's not nice to fool Mother Nature.
8. Mrs. White is not amused.
9. Well isn't that just ducky.
10. And in the immortal words of Michael Cunningham, I was not ladylike, nor was I manly. I was something else altogether. There are so many different ways to be beautiful.

XV

This year was supposed to be better. Having survived 22 weeks of a Pandemic before his last birthday, we naively thought that Owen's 15th year would involve more people and fewer masks.

We sort of missed the mark on that one.

Owen started his high school experience remotely, with only one of his friends from middle school attending the same school and only sharing one class with him – online gym. And while virtual high school was a challenge for everyone, attending a performing arts high school where you can't actually perform together and instead have to upload recordings of just your part using click tracks, kind of takes the fun out of playing. Owen sort of checked out – from classes and friends and really anything that didn't involve youtube videos critiquing the American educational system or Dr. Who. That coupled with an insurrection and just the general ennui of being a teenage boy in 2020 made for a rough fall and winter, with only a few trips and outings to break up the monotony and introduce the occasional outside social interaction (thank you Gabriel).

But in the spring, Owen started attending school a couple of days a week in person and actually got to play with some other Duke cellists and bassists. Climbing Club started up again and he was able to hang out with some kids his age (provided they all wore masks). He grew. He was able to attend Nats games again. First Day School began meeting again in person and involved activities like finding gas leaks and harvesting honey (not entirely clear which part of SPICES those activities relate to, but still...). After numerous tense conversations and more helicopter parenting then any of us felt good about, Owen finally started participating in class and even made the Honor Roll. And most importantly, Owen got vaccinated in May, relieving a lot of his anxiety and fear, and allowing him to actually relax and enjoy his summer. 

Which he did. He rode his first rollercoaster (and his second). He went to the Baseball Hall of Fame and saw all the Nationals World Series mementoes. He swam and ate s'mores. He went to camp and stayed in a cabin with a bunch of other 14 and 15 year olds without any electronic devices. He kayaked. He discovered he's weirdly good at miniature golf and not bad at pool. He jumped off the high dive numerous times, performed in a hootenanny, and was willingly pummeled by waves. And he was really, really happy for the first time in a long time.

Which we really hope continues as Owen starts his sophomore year of school in-person (though due to the recent spike in COVID cases, it still won't be a "normal" school year). And while we know that there are still trials and tribulations ahead, the fact that Owen has survived 74 weeks in a Pandemic and is still the sweet, enthusiastic kid that we all know and love, makes us feel like he can handle whatever life throws at him. Happy birthday, little man. We love you so, so much and know that you've got this (and that we've got your back). 

1. Finland – now that that's a country that understands how to run an educational system.
2. You know the rules.
3. Actually...
4. Pool sharks are cool, baby sharks are annoying, and land sharks should only be observed from a safe distance.
5. We will defend our house. Eventually. Once we rebuild the Nats and I'm in college...
6. Trust your captain, but keep your seatbelt securely fastened.
7. Imposters, they walk Among Us.
8. Music writers may argue, but the definitive top five Marvel movie scores is Iron Man III followed by Thor, Winter Soldier, Civil War and Dr. Strange.  
9. You're never fully dressed without a... fleece and sweatpants. 
10. And in the immortal words of Dr. Who, There's a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive... worm hole refractors... You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold.

Chapter Eleven

Ten started out strong – Nora was rocking fifth grade with her besties. She joined the chorus and had a solo at the Winter Concert. She was in the Stuart-Hobson production of Frozen. She got to deliver MLK's I Have a Dream speech at the Lincoln Memorial. She made the DC Honor's Chorus. She made the Battle of the Books team. She went pixie.

And then there was the bump – aka the Pandemic. Battle of the Books was cancelled. The overnight field trip to Hard Bargain Farms was cancelled. Our trips to Harry Potter World and the Grand Canyon were cancelled. School went remote. Fifth grade graduation was virtual. We had to wear masks everywhere.

It did not go over well.

There were a lot of tears and slammed doors and yelling about all the stuff we couldn't do.

So we did other stuff.

We baked bread and cinnamon rolls . We made crepes, fresh pasta and pretzels. We churned butter. We presented on the science behind playing arpeggios using water bottles filled to different levels. We had family bike rides and family game nights. We got Animal Crossing (and played it a lot). We played a viola solo that closed out fifth grade graduation. We went hiking. We chased after covered wagons. We swam in the ocean and it didn't kill us. We rode zip lines and kayaked and flew an airplane.

And sometimes, we even got to see our friends.

So ten didn't turn out quite the way we planned, but it was still a pretty great year. And we can only imagine that 11 will be even better. Happy birthday, baby girl. We love you so, so much.

1. Personal hygiene is optional until middle school
2. Dream big. Fight hard.
3. It's all a balancing act.
4. Sometimes you need to go outside your own bubble. Especially if it means you get to bubble with a buddie.
5. Occasionally, parental guidance is suggested for the full Nora experience #PG10.
6. To laugh that we may not weep.
7. "Moo."
8. That'll do, Piggie.
9. I'm flying high, defying gravity!
10. And in the immortal words of Nora herself, These are strange, strange times and I am a strange, strange person. So take of that what you will.

Fourteen

Thirteen has been rough. A couple of weeks after Owen entered teen-hood, his brand new bike (and birthday present) was stolen at school. Then his cell phone screen shattered. There was drama with geometry class and Spanish class and even drama in drama class. And there was the looming high school application process complete with essays and interviews and tests (oh my).

But then Owen got a new bike (he paid for part) and a new phone. He went to the World Series and the Nationals won (granted they lost all three games he attended, but still...)! He (mostly) resolved his academic issues, decided he wanted to go to Duke Ellington and really focused on practicing for his audition (which went really well). He went to New York with the drama club and finally saw Phantom of the Opera in person. He got second place in the school science fair and an honorable mention for his National History Day project. He was cast in the spring play.

And then the Pandemic hit.

The play was cancelled. Classes were remote. Climbing was done for. Hanging out with friends was over. He couldn't go to 8th grade prom (though according to Owen, that was a silver lining).

Nevertheless, Owen persisted. He managed to perform both for his Youth Orchestra concert and channeled Odysseus in a new online play. He got into Duke. He graduated from Stuart. He traveled across the country with his cello in hand in order to practice and participate in an online intensive. He learned to make pretzels. He wrote essays on Harry Potter and did online math (as well as a disturbing amount of Brawl Stars). We bubbled with friends so he could go biking, swimming, kayaking and hiking. We bubbled with family so he could swim at the pond, eat lots of corn and ride a zip line. We bubbled with even more family so he could swim in the ocean and fly in the air.

And so while 13 maybe wasn't Owen's greatest year, it certainly has been memorable. Despite all manner of obstacles, Owen's come through a stronger, more mature and empathetic person who we're pretty proud of. Happy birthday, little man. We love you so, so much (and hope that 14 is far less eventful).

1. Bumpy roads lead to beautiful places.
2. You'd be amazed what you can deal with provided you have wifi and a Disney+ subscription.
3. Some longshots are worth it
4. "Respect the tech."
5. Life is all about balance
6. There are no small parts, only small actors. And sometimes, extremely small sets.
7. Sometimes you need to expand your bubble.
8. Diggers are good at dig dig digging, scooping up the earth and building ziplines!
9. You can't chose your family group, but sometimes you get really lucky. 
10. And in the immortal words of J.R.R. Tolkein, It's like in the great stories... The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end… because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing… this shadow. Even darkness must pass.

Perfect 10

Nine was kind of perfect for Nora. She had a core group of friends, a spirit animal for a teacher, and after our friend Jacqui pointed out that Nora was squinting a lot and we took her to an optometrist, sight! Nora ran 5ks and composed songs. She authored a series of comics (though she never did get that subscription service off the ground). She started climbing club and acting classes. She founded a network (sort of).

Granted, this year has been a decade in the works. Years where she struggled finding her tribe, or the right outlet for her creativity. But as Nora will happily tell everyone, you can't help but eventually notice her awesomeness. Whether it's acting, singing, writing, directing her latest musical comedy production, turning boring old viola practice into soap opera drama of musical relationships (not to mention a youtube series), or simply surprising you with a new joke or clever turn of phrase, she can't help but light up a room with her imagination.

As Nora turns ten, leaving single digits behind and starting fifth grade, there are plenty of changes and growing up for her on the horizon. But as stressful as all that may seem to us watching our little girl grow up, we just have to remember,"don't worry, we have Nora." Happy birthday, baby girl, we love you so much.

1. I'm undulating!
2. Nailed it
3. Stop sinking, Smith!
4. Boop! (No boop-backs).
5. Free samples are amazing!
6. Do you believe in magical onions?"
7. Always be yourself... unless you can be a unicorn. Then definitely be a unicorn.
8. It's not a violin!
9. Awesome, awesomeawesome, awesome... Old Navy.
10. And in the immortal words of Marcel Proust, "The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."

Teen Titan

Seventh grade got real. Our sweet, innocent sixth grader was replaced by a cynical tween who sometimes forgot to turn in assignments, didn't always own up to mistakes and even elicited a meeting with the principal. Age twelve included curt conversations, locked doors and a lot of deeps sighs on both sides of the generational divide.

But despite the unintended drama, there was much to celebrate this year too. Owen got straight As (even after skipping ahead an entire year of math), a starring role in the spring musical, participated in honor ensembles, made the school baseball team (again), and was second chair in DCYOP. He wrote a 20 page tome on the hero's journey (which may or may not have been semi-biographical), learned to sail and ate 10 ears of corn in a single afternoon. Owen grew up a lot.

And that's the thing: despite having entered that period of life when familial tensions seem to be heightened, we navigated it together, learned a bunch and, overall, had a really good year. Given Owen's our oldest, we're new to adolescent angst and have struggled a bit with a more independent and opinionated Owen. But we're optimistic that we'll all come out of it ok, because the truth is, that while at times maddening, Owen is a really good kid and our "real boy" is becoming a pretty cool young man. Happy birthday, Owen. We love you so, so much and hope that thirteen is truly lucky for you.

1. We're gonna make a change, in about two years time...
2. Bowling is the second fanciest sport. Golf is obviously the fanciest.
3. Screen time limits, nemesis of the you-tube generation.
4. "I don't mean to brag, but I'm somewhat of a fish expert." 
5. You can take a lot of literary license as long as you remember, Arizona is not the land of gangsters. 
6. If you're going to live rustic, why bother showering?
7. Never underestimate the importance of a well established root system.
8. Bring on the double black diamonds.
9. "T-Rexs do not abide by the five second rule."
10. And always and forever, let your freak flag fly.

Great Eight!

Nora really came into her own at seven, or rather, it became increasingly clear to the rest of us who she is. She is one to always have a bon mot (and has just enough French to know what that means), tends towards the silly, does not like it when you go off-script, is working on becoming a better loser, still likes a good cuddle, and really likes to shake her booty. Nora developed a core group of friends at school this year but kept her old friends close. She learned how to play the viola and how to do double-dutch. She boogey boarded for the first time. Nora discovered Zelda and Youtube. She had her First Communion and saw a total solar eclipse. In between, she wrote some plays, a few books, some questionable poetry, and a lot of songs.

We don't always know what Nora is going to do or say -- which makes living with her both exciting and at times exasperating -- but we know that it's something that will usually make you stop and think, and often smile (sometimes despite yourself). Happy birthday, baby girl, now have fun stormin' the castle.

1. "I'm not sure which is better: hunting a llama or having a llama."
2. We go high.
3. Sometimes you just need a disco dance party, even if it's in the bathroom.
4. Science is fun! Baseball, is more a matter of taste.
5. "I'll wrestle sharks tomorrow..."
6. Yippee-Kai-Yay.
7. "Thank you, thank you very much."
8. "This is the most amazing experience of my entire life! I have never seen anything as amazing as the solar eclipse!"
9. Buckethead: Two buckets; one head! 
10. Always remember, the "Importance of Balance."

He Goes to Eleven

Owen really came of age this year, which was a really strange year for that to happen. Just a few months after Owen's birthday, Donald Trump was elected, which drastically changed the trajectory of his father's career, and meant a demonstrable increase in the number of protests we participated in as a family. Being a fifth grader meant that Owen's curriculum this year covered, among other things, the Civil War, Reconstruction, World War II and the Civil Rights Movement, which added an interesting context to current events. We had talks about race and religion, discrimination, terrorism, hate, and all manner of uncomfortable subjects. And while at times it was really hard to have those talks, it was really interesting to hear Owen's perspective on things. It also made us really proud of the kind of man he's becoming.

Not that there weren't lighter moments this year. Owen went camping with his class in the fall, his family for Father's Day, and went to sleep-away camp with his friend Gabriel in the summer. He was the MC at a juggling show and gave the "I have a Dream" speech (well, part of it) with his class at the Lincoln Memorial. He climbed a 5.10b and learned the butterfly stroke.  He graduated from fifth grade and was promoted to DCYOP's intermediate orchestra. Owen built a computer and got a Switch. He body boarded by himself. He ate shrimp!

But despite all these changes, he's still the same Owen who's up for any adventure, always has your back, and still enjoys a good cuddle. Happy birthday, little man, we love you so much!

1. Beware of Shadow Demons
2. There are giants in the sky!
3. Never approach the Yiga clan without your Mighty Bananas.
4. Science Before Profit!
5. Separation of church and state is fine an all, but Egyptian mythology and school mascots should get a pass.
6. Just keep running.
7. "Some of my best quotes I just say to myself."
8. People don't know much about the Battle of Bladensburg and the War of 1812 -- particularly the impact of local pawn dealers on the outcome.
9. "What I missed most was Nora."
10. "The rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

Party Redux (Owen's 10th)

Over the summer, we asked Owen what he'd like to do for his birthday and he responded without hesitation, "laser tag." I wasn't overly excited, but Owen had already planned everyone's position and Allen, who had taken Owen to several parties at the laser tag place, assured me that Ultrazone Laser Tag was really easy and as Owen's birthday is days before school starts and 12 days before Nora's, easy sounded good. So we booked it and sent out invites -- lots of invites as many people extend their vacations through the weekend before school starts and laser tag requires a lot of people in attendance. Once we finally had a quorum, we relaxed.

Until the night before the party. I wasn't feeling great so I let the answering machine pick up when a call came in at 6:30 pm. There was a bunch of mumbling, but when I heard "Ultrazone" I quickly grabbed the handset only to learn that owing to some issue with their lease, Ultrazone was unable to access their building which meant Owen couldn't have his party there the following morning. The manager offered to let us hold the party at another venue about an hour away, but we demurred and instead proceeded to call all fourteen of the intended attendees informing them that the party was cancelled but they'd be getting a new invite once we had a had a place, date and time.

Owen was great about the whole thing. No one is happy to have their party cancelled on the eve of their birthday, but he was pretty stoic about the whole thing. We started talking about possible venues and dates, and while we tried to find another laser tag place, Owen wasn't thrilled with the equipment at the alternative site. So we suggested trampoline parks and climbing gyms and rock walls, but Owen declined and expressed his preference to return to Sandy Springs Adventure Park.

We'd held Owen's eighth birthday party at Sandy Springs, and while lovely, it rained the entire time at which point I vowed to never have a party outside again. But Owen insisted, we needed to get something on the calendar, and he was being such a good sport about it, so we booked it for Labor Day and sent out invites (to both those that couldn't make the first party and those that did) and turned our attention to Nora's party (which we had scheduled early in order to avoid Labor Day weekend...).

Time passed. School started. Nora's birthday party went off without a hitch. Nora turned seven. 16 kids responded that they'd be attending (apparently Labor Day is less of a travel draw than the weekend before school starts). And then tropical storm Hermine started brewing...

Historically, the birthday party gods have not been kind to us. There was the tornado at Nora's 3rd. The double booking at Nora's 4th. The rainstorm at Owen's eighth. And the near cancelation at Owen's 9th owing to his ER trip earlier that week. Knowing our luck, I started panicking, because as much as I love Owen and as much as the 10th anniversary of his birth should be commemorated with style, I couldn't face the prospect of having to cancel another party and plan a third celebration, particularly as the Fall activity schedule was upon us.

There was much prayer and possibly drinking. But in the end, the weather gods were kind and Hermine skirted over the mid-Atlantic though the party gods did bench a few of Owen's friends at the last minute (two owing to some bug, the third failed to get his arm cast off in a timely manner). We had beautiful weather, Owen was in his element and the 13 kids and 5 adults had a pretty amazing time.

(To see all the pictures, click here.)

Seven!

Six started out rough. There was a new school filled with mean girls, a series of unfortunate accidents, lice, and a memory card not adequately backed up resulting in lost photographs and many tears. There were slammed doors and locked doors and sulking under the table because the universe is unfair. There were a lot of songs written with some very emo lyrics and evenings when we were not allowed so much as a good-night hug.

Nora eventually ignored the mean girls, asserted her personality because "why would you want to be like everyone else?" and still made new friends. Door slamming is banned, but door locking is permitted when one needs privacy, provided it's not overnight and the door is opened per Mommy's request (because she's short and can't reach the key on the frame and sometimes she legitimately needs to get into the bedroom). I still worry about the nature of her song lyrics, but she's assured Allen that the overall message is about female empowerment, she just hasn't completed them yet.

And so despite a difficult beginning, six ended up pretty amazing: Nora learned to ride a bike (nine months after breaking her arm while on training wheels). She lost her first tooth, skied using lifts and shifted from bouldering to climbing. Nora built a birdhouse and a robot; designed necklaces and Halloween costumes. She made it all the way to letter X on the reading scale.

And she did it her way, because if you're Nora, why would you ever want to be like everyone else? Happy birthday, baby girl. We love you so much and can't wait to see what you do at seven.

1. "I am horrified but strangely excited."
2. Don't think of it as delousing, think of it as a spa day!
3. Despite Nora's assurances, people of New York, you should probably look elsewhere for driving instructors.
4. "Can I tell you something?"
5. Cool runnings isn't so much a movie as a lifestyle.
6. The world runs very differently in funny land.
7. On belay!
8. "Turn out the light, because I'm princess of the night!"
9. Ah, donuts.
10. And in the words of Nora, "If you think about it, anything is possible."

Party Madness

Nora's gotten really into science this year -- she and Allen regularly play with a chemistry kit she has, she loved the engineering class she took in aftercare and this summer she built a robot at Mad Science camp. So a birthday party devoted to experiments with 14 little girls seemed like a brilliant way to celebrate.

And in the end, it was -- a very loud, but brilliant, idea. There were fireballs and slime and explosions and color changes and dancing and screaming and even cotton candy. But mostly, there were 14 little girls that had an amazing time getting their STEM stuff on.

(To see all the birthday pictures, please click here.)

Decade

10 years. Double digits. An entire decade of watching Owen evolve from a jaundiced, sleep-renouncing newborn with a disproportionately large head, to a... kid. A kid who will quiz you on the Revolutionary War, Greek Mythology, Zoology, parts of the brain and Pokémon characters in a single afternoon. A kid who will tell a joke or interject a snarky comment, but will then tear up if he doesn't like how you laughed at it. A kid who hates Donald Trump, loves Elvis Costello and plays a mean OK Go on the cello. And while there are still moments when Owen's youthfulness is on full display -- when he sulks after being corrected or rides the tricycle across the living room, or just experiences the kind of unadulterated joy that adults can never seem to achieve -- a more mature side is emerging. Owen's becoming someone who listens to the news, asks pointed questions and has surprising insights. Someone who tries to cheer people up by finding a bright side. Someone who takes moral stands for causes he believes in. And someone who can beat me at corn hole without any handicaps.

I love all sides, very much. Happy birthday, Owen, it's been an amazing 3,653 days.

1. Ah, the suite life.
2. Some days, your amygdala just can't take it.
3. "I threw myself to the wolves, only to learn of the tenderness in their howl, and the loyalty in their blood." ~ Isra Al-Thibeh
4. Orchestra and Chorus are two very distinct things. Something you might want to clarify before agreeing to join the wrong one.
5. It's easier to be a good loser, when you steal home under the tag.
6. "Seriously?"
7. Rick Riordan was mistaken: Mount Olympus hasn't actually relocated to the top of the Empire State Building.
8. Two words: bone scythe.
9. It's not easy, being green.
10. Sometimes life comes down to a single moment, when all eyes are on you watching to see if you will succeed or fail. A lot of times in your life, you'll come up empty: drop the ball resulting in the game winning run; miss the tie-breaking question; flub a note during your solo. It happens to us all, and it's a disappointment that we all learn to cope with. But sometimes, you come through in the clutch. And those moments are glorious.