Sweet Sixteen

Fifteen was an interesting year. With Owen leaving for college, Noa suddenly became an "only" child and our primary focus, which they had mixed feelings about. Sure, it was great that meals involved more sauces and less meat, but it also meant that when we asked how school was, there was no way to hide. They grew frustrated and asked for more space, which we gave until their teachers grew frustrated and we had to intervene. So fifteen was a learning year for us all – we learned to trust but verify and Noa learned that inactions also have consequences.

And also how much they missed their brother.

But aside from that, it was a pretty amazing year. Noa (finally) had a named character in a high school production (granted that name was "Baroness Elberfeld," but still). They sang in the spotlight and exhibited their work at an actual art gallery. They protested the new administration's stance on trans rights. They made Dutch babies and potato mochi and cake batter (though not always cakes). They started an affinity group. They volunteered at a food kitchen. They went to NYC without us (but with their director, their friends and some of their friends' parents). They went to Homecoming and the Spring Dance. They played in ensembles and team sports. They studied funerals (still not clear on why, but it was for school). They made movies. And they spent a lot of time with some pretty amazing friends.

Which is all to say, Noa contains frickin' multitudes. So happy birthday, little one, we love you and hope sixteen is amazing. Now go do your homework.

1. It can be confusing when your emotional support animal is also your captor.
2. Always trust in our Lord and savior, Billy Joel 
3. I'd hug you too dad, but Mom is more conveniently located.
4. Sometimes, it's all about perspective.
5. Live in a rainbow of chaos.
6.  Setting the tavern on fire to get out of a conversation that was going well?!? Ok Lysander, there are consequences to our actions.
7. It's not a gambling problem if you always win.
8. Here's the thing about a barbecue...
9. Let's be honest, kids are a lot.
10. And in the immortal words of KPOP Demon Hunters, It's the beginning of a new chapter for us. For the whole world. We're so excited to show you what's next.

The End of the Teens

Owen left for college a few days after his 18th birthday. As a result, we haven't necessarily directly observed a lot of what transpired this past year, but have been privy to the results. College was a bit of an adjustment, especially his first semester when some of his organizational challenges came home to roost (though the class he struggled with most, some variant of Intro to Life, might have been more of an indictment of Allen and my parenting skills). But Owen found his footing and finished his Freshman year thriving at SMCM. 

He joined the Climbing Club and Fencing Team and even became an officer in the Softball Club. He purchased mason jars at CVS and then drove to the shore in order to collect water samples for his Chemistry class. He registered and voted and then talked me down from the ledge when the results came in. He purchased Christmas presents for the whole family. He did his laundry regularly. He formed study groups. And he even came home for his Father's Birthday, for various holidays and Opening Day.

When he came home for the summer (or rather late Spring – St. Mary's gets out early), we found that over the course of two semesters, Owen had become a fully formed adult. He applied for a job and wrote a cover letter and arranged an interview and when he didn't get it, he pivoted to volunteer work at Meeting. He emptied the dishwasher unprompted. He made dinner. He made plans and drove around the monuments at night with friends.

But through it all, he still made time for his family. So while we're sad that he's heading back to St. Mary's soon (or rather soonish – St, Mary's also starts really late), we know that Owen will always come home. Happy birthday, Little Man, we love you so, so much.

1. Life is all about balance.
2. When God closes a door, He opens a window.
3. Some portals are magical. Others are filled with inaccurate scheduling information on Intro to Chemistry classes.
4. You've got a fast car (ok, maybe not that that fast...)
5. Disengage, beat, disengage, lunge.
6. When faced with being a Cassian or a Syril, always be a Cassian.
7. Don't just make a Mario level, make a whole world.
8. Wouldn't pitcher wins be a better stat if each game's outcome was recalculated with league average runs support?
9. You can never have enough parsley (unless it's dry and from Costco).
10. And in the immortal words of the 12th Doctor, I'm not trying to win. I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because I want to blame someone. It's not because it's fun. God knows it's not because it's easy. It's not even because it works because it hardly ever does... I DO WHAT I DO BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind! It's just that... Just kind.

The Fourteenth

Thirteen is a hard year to talk about. We had hoped that it would be a balm for all that had passed during Noa's twelfth year, and in a lot of ways it was. At their new school, Noa became engaged in an array of activities (theater, chorus, art, student council, Friends of Dorothy) and seemed to be in a better place. But in addition to all the highs that eighth grade brought, there were also some lows that were sad and painful and not something we really want to revisit. It's enough just to know that Noa got through it and for that we're incredibly grateful.

Noa found their people. They starred as Lady MacBeth and had a winning poem published. They finally started playing with a full orchestra. Noa was worshiped by a fifth grade cult. They officially outgrew me. They played an organized sport. Noa promoted composting for their school, jumped into freezing waters for the environment, debated ways to incentivize voting, and made sandwiches for the unhoused. Noa commuted. They slept in yurts. They organized a school dance that they even attended (however briefly). They were memorialized on a brick. 

And Noa spent much of the year visiting, applying and eventually getting into high school, where they will begin the next chapter of their life. And while it's maybe not the chapter they expected, I think their story will be a pretty amazing one. 

So happy birthday my not so little one. We love so, so much and are so thankful that you are in our lives. You've got this, Noa, and we've got your back.

1. If your day starts in Bethesda, your day isn't starting off well.
2. "Flannel is lesbian rice."
3. Middle. Always the middle.
4. "Look like th'innoent flower, But be the serpent under't"
5. Don't turn your back, don't look away and don't blink. Good luck.
6. Un, deux, trois... cat.
7. You can't second guess ineffability.
8. Step 1: Drink coffee. Step 2: Do things.
9. Any LGBTQ+ flag fan can tell you about the evolution of the Pride Flag, but only a true Queer Vexillologist has dug into decades old Tumblr discourse to opine on the perfection of the Neptunic flag.
10. And remember, always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.

The Edge of Seventeen

Sixteen was a really good year for Owen, which makes writing this post a little bittersweet. Because while this year Owen did a lot - first chair cello, driving permit, college visits, the SAT, AP tests, law school camp - with the exception of the driving permit and maybe his cello development, all of it was to advance his pursuit of higher education. This inevitably means that this time next year whilr we're posting about the trials and tribulations of 17, we will be preparing to move Owen into a dorm somewhere across the country (money is on either Colorado or the Mid-Atlantic). And while we are really excited for all that is in store for him, it's hard not to start thinking about all the things we will miss when we don't have full Owen access.

So, this year we've been trying to savor our time with Owen, and squeeze in special moments with him even while we help with his college essays and schedule college tours. This has involved a spur of the moment trip to NYC to catch one of the final performances of Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. And side trips to Garden of the Gods and a Rockies game while on a college tour. It's meant risking freezing temperatures (and aggravating a potentially debilitating hand injury) to ski down the Symphony Bowl for Owen's last DCPS February break. It's included taking him to his first official rock concert and letting him go to performance of his friends at the Kennedy Center all by himself. We have watched proudly as he's been featured in Duke performances and watched anxiously while Owen took the wheel. And we have watched a lot of Doctor Who through it all.

And in these special moments, we've learned just how ready Owen is for his next big adventure and all that follows (even if we're not quite ready for it ourselves). So happy birthday, our not so little man. We know that you'll have an amazing year and are just glad we're just glad to have a front row seat for it all.

1. Skier's thumb = Cellist's bane
2. Ignorance of the law is officially no longer an excuse.
3. Some people enjoy being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
4. Estonia, now there's some quality vexillology.
5. Queen to Rook 5.
6. Sometimes in life, you just have to improvise.
7. Some projects are bigger than others.
8. Home is where the Washington Monument is, followed by a very sharp left.
9. When you're about to do something very clever and slightly against the rules of the universe, it's important to be properly dressed.
10. And in the immortal words of Doctor Who, I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a mad man. And I've watched the universe freeze, and creation burn - I have seen things you wouldn't believe and I have lost things you will never understand - and I know things. Secrets that must never be told. Knowledge that must NEVER be spoken! Knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze! So come on then!!! Take It!!! Take it ALL baby!!! Have it! You. Have. It ALL!!!!

Perfect 10

Nine was kind of perfect for Nora. She had a core group of friends, a spirit animal for a teacher, and after our friend Jacqui pointed out that Nora was squinting a lot and we took her to an optometrist, sight! Nora ran 5ks and composed songs. She authored a series of comics (though she never did get that subscription service off the ground). She started climbing club and acting classes. She founded a network (sort of).

Granted, this year has been a decade in the works. Years where she struggled finding her tribe, or the right outlet for her creativity. But as Nora will happily tell everyone, you can't help but eventually notice her awesomeness. Whether it's acting, singing, writing, directing her latest musical comedy production, turning boring old viola practice into soap opera drama of musical relationships (not to mention a youtube series), or simply surprising you with a new joke or clever turn of phrase, she can't help but light up a room with her imagination.

As Nora turns ten, leaving single digits behind and starting fifth grade, there are plenty of changes and growing up for her on the horizon. But as stressful as all that may seem to us watching our little girl grow up, we just have to remember,"don't worry, we have Nora." Happy birthday, baby girl, we love you so much.

1. I'm undulating!
2. Nailed it
3. Stop sinking, Smith!
4. Boop! (No boop-backs).
5. Free samples are amazing!
6. Do you believe in magical onions?"
7. Always be yourself... unless you can be a unicorn. Then definitely be a unicorn.
8. It's not a violin!
9. Awesome, awesomeawesome, awesome... Old Navy.
10. And in the immortal words of Marcel Proust, "The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."

The Not-So-Dirty Dozen

11 was scary. 11 was the harbinger of middle school and tween-dom and all sorts of unknown quantities. There was health class (which involved homework and some creative spelling for all sorts of STDs) and Owen's own smartphone with text chains. There were uniforms and metal detectors and things that went on your permanent record. There were lockers with combinations and passing periods with crowded hallways. And there were some really big kids.

But Owen rocked it. He got the "Positivity" Award his first month of school. Owen tried out for and got a starring part in the Fall Musical, Willy Wonka, and completely nailed the role of Grandpa Joe. He got all A's. He made the middle school baseball team as a starter. Owen participated in an honor orchestra and went to Space Camp. He ran a soundboard for the Spring Musical by himself. He won the Pelican Cup for the second time. This year, Owen made new friends (including some of the big kids) and got reacquainted with some of his old buddies from Watkins.

And so in the end, 11 turned out to be a pretty amazing year. Hopefully, 12 will be just as good. Happy birthday, little man, we're really proud of you and we love you so, so much!

1. It is never a good time to dab. Ever.
2. First they have to find your strike zone...
3. "Oh my goodness!"
4. Battery packs are game changers.
5. Cousins are amazing things, especially when you've texted smack to them during a Nats-Cubs playoff series and they still try to make you feel better when the Nats eventually lose...
6. This is not a moment, it's the movement.
7. So it turns out that deep down, Snape really wasn't so bad.
8. It's hard to be the bright light in a dim world.
9. You can never have too many Mario games... unless it's Mario 2. Because that's just Doki Doki Panic and really what's the point?
10. Come with me, and you'll be in a world of pure imagination!