Moving on Up

Ever since Mom was hospitalized and we discovered Dad had Alzheimers in the summer of 2024, we've been trying to get them into a retirement community, preferably near Steve. They've been resistant – Dad didn't think it was necessary and Mom didn't want to leave Iowa. We pushed again last spring after Dad's stroke and got the same response. And while as their children it's been frustrating to have them need increasingly more support without their acknowledging it, we struggled to force the point.

But the past winter was really hard on both of them. Mom and Dad have been homebound since January when the car died (which was a bit of blessing since Mom stopped driving years ago and Dad's license expired in April 2025) with little outside interaction for Mom, and Dad only having his daily walks. We were finally able to convince Mom (Dad's memory decline means he doesn't remember the stroke, or getting lost on his walks, or having an expired license, so our arguments fall a bit flat with him) that it was time for a change when we found StoryPoint which only a few blocks from their house and adjacent to the park Dad love to walk in back in February. 

After visiting the place, we had a pretty serious discussion with them both. Mom was mostly quiet, but Dad would argue that a move was inevitable but not imminent, and anyway, wouldn't moving closer to one of us kids make more sense? We would then acknowledge that that being in Chicago would make it easier for us, but Mom was opposed to leaving Iowa so staying in the neighborhood, at least while we dealt with selling the house, made the most sense for now. Dad would then ask Mom what she thought; she would ask what he wanted to do, and we would have the same exact discussion again (conversations with Dad tend to loop these days). Eventually we got them to put down a deposit and get on a waitlist with a plan to move in April.

The move itself went reasonably smoothly. All three kids flew in to handle the move and setting up the new place (we tended to tag team with one keeping them distracted while the others actively worked or ran errands). Mom was somewhat zen about it all, while Dad continued to ask what was going on. And while not everything went perfectly (I really wish there were alternative options to "smart" TVs that don't involve menus or complicated remotes; and the landline is still in limbo), the people have been incredibly welcoming and the sheer number of interactions has been beneficial to them both.

Mom and Dad are still feeling overwhelmed (Dad keeps asking if this is where they're living for the rest of their lives) but they are adjusting. Steve got them to attend a chair exercise class while we were there and we've seen subsequent reports on StoryPoint's Facebook page that they attended the Kentucky Derby Party and a Teacher Appreciation Coffee and we think they made Communion this past week. And while the move hasn't solved every issue (they've both decided they are done with doctors, so that's fun), we at least feel like they have more support and community, and (hopefully) a little more joy in their daily lives.

(To see all the pictures, click here.)