And so it begins

Junior year of high school is traditionally the start of the college application season. Noa took the PSAT in October and took a practice ACT test in November. Meetings with Burke's college counselors have started (though we as a family are bit behind in our submissions). Noa has even started padding their college resume by attending the NAIS Civic Leadership Summit (whiles the rest of the city and Burke were reeling from the effects of "snowcrete." And so when faced with a four day weekend for President's Day, we decided to have Noa's inaugural college visit to Oberlin.

Noa has stated before that their top factors in selecting a college are brick ratio (ah, Gen Z), public transportation, and weather (Noa's depression has a seasonal component), so on some level, Oberlin, OH might not be an obvious first choice (though apparently it's brick ratio is excellent). But two of Owen's best friends, Gabriel and Rosemary, are students there and Noa has a couple of Burke friends that are either students there or will be attending next year. And since Rosemary and potentially Gabriel would be studying abroad next year when it might make more sense to visit, we decided to go ahead and check it out now.

Megan, who is always up for a visit with Gabriel and Rosemary, joined our roadtrip (and actually drove most of it) as we arrived Sunday afternoon. We met up with Gabriel who gave us an excellent tour of campus (and even got his friend Mya to show us the visual arts buildings), eventually meeting up with Rosemary after she finished rehearsal. The kids went back to their respective dorms (Rosemary let Noa crash with her with Gabriel just a few buildings down) while Megan and I checked into our hotel and then met the kids out for and early dinner so the kids could get back to their studies (such good role models).

The next morning, Megan and I grabbed breakfast and Noa for our formal Oberlin information meeting (including an impressive presentation by Oberlin's President whose triplets are all freshman there this year) and tour. Afterwards, Noa checked out one of Rosemary's rehearsals and then bagged on Gabriel's econ class in order to join Megan and I at the school's art museum. We were all pretty exhausted at that point, so Megan, Noa and I headed back to our hotel room to crash and watch the Olympics before Megan met up with Gabriel and Rosemary and then we all reconvened for dinner and some stimulating conversation about whether capybaras spread the plague (ah college).

The next morning we headed out fairly early since Noa had a musical rehearsal they needed to get back to Burke for. And while they may not end up applying to Oberlin (because again, rural Ohio?), they really did have a lovely introduction to the college experience (thanks Gabriel, Rosemary, Megan and Oberlin!).

51st!

I managed to turn 51 before DC could become the 51st state, but we celebrated still. On Friday, Elaine and I escaped the snowcrete for a dinner at Little Pearl that also let us scout out the place for Mom's 80th birthday party coming up in May. Then on Saturday Mom Mom hosted a birthday dinner for me that Steve & Megan were able to join. All told a lovely birthday, plus the Winter Olympics are starting to make all the snow feel a little more appropriate.

Snowcrete

This winter brought one of our more unusual snowstorms in DC – the Snowcrete. Temperatures were well below freezing when the storm started with about 5" of snow falling and sticking immediately to the ground. Then a warm layer of air aloft moved in with surface temperatures still in the low 20s and we got another 5" of sleet that was topped off with some freezing rain. This left us with a thick layer of 'snowcrete' that was brutal to remove. I got an early start clearing the sidewalk out front in the snow phase of the storm but my snow shovel broke, so needed to share our neighbors Matt & Larry's shovel. We kept a narrow path clear, but the battle was lost in back. 

I also had to make the call to cancel our FMW/DCM dialogue on Sunday the 25th, and decide what to do about my flight to Richland on Monday for our first merged directorate leadership team workshop. My flight was out of BWI departing at 7am (hoping to avoid past problems in MSP) and I was able to move it to an afternoon flight out of BWI instead to buy a little time and hopefully take the MARC train to the airport instead of trying the roads. When the MARC train suspended service I cancelled my trip even though my flight was still on. Turns out that was the right call since the flight ended up being delayed 4 hours and my connecting flight was later cancelled. We had to postpone the Tuesday, January 27th dialogue as well since the roads and sidewalks were still impassible. 

Despite school being cancelled for the first half of the week, Noa was still able to go to the NAIS Civic Leadership Summit Tuesday through Friday. Elaine and Noa took an uber to the hotel in Arlington since our car was still trapped. It was a good experience for Noa, though seeing the monuments at night in the bitter cold with all of the snowcrete probably was more exciting for all the kids who came to DC from around the country for the conference.

The aftermath of the storm was brutal as we entered into a ten day streak of high temperatures below freezing and brutally cold lows for DC, the longest such streak since 1989 and the sixth longest since records started in the 1800s. Our car was trapped by the impassible alley until one of the apartment buildings hired a private plow to clear the alley to 11th St. That meant I could get out a hammer and slowly chip away at the snowcrete outside our garage door to clear a path for us to escape. Just in time for us to pick up Noa from the leadership conference on Friday and make and deliver soup for Grate Patrol. Eventually the city sent a skid-loader to begin to clear out the alley to 10th St, but the remnants of this storm would last a long time.

Fake Christmases

While I generally don't like to argue that there is one true anything (especially these days), during the holidays we do tend to have official celebrations which correspond with the designated Christmas holiday, and supplemental celebrations which tend to occur on whatever odd day works with everybody's schedule. We colloquially refer to the latter as "Fake Christmas(es)."

The timing of these celebrations was all over the place this year. For instance, Jennifer, Ahzer and the kids flew into Maryland prior to celebrating the holidays along the Eastern Shore (I think they officially ended up in Connecticut though there might have been a detour to New York as well) which meant we were able to get together with them the evening Owen got back from St. Mary's for a lovely dinner and a lot of noise. We met up the Pearsons, who were in Virginia to celebrate with Chris's parents before Elise had to go back to Pittsburgh for work, for dinner and game play right before we headed off to Iowa. We saved opening our immediate family presents and stockings until we got back from visiting Grandma and Grandpa Z in Iowa on the 26th.And then Owen invited his high school crew over for New Years.

But the biggest, fakest Christmas was held January 10th when we were finally able to get together with Mom Mom, Grandpa Don, and Nancy & Danny for the non-so-Secret Santa exchange (limited persons and non getting anyone in your household makes it pretty easy to figure things out). The exchange was originally going to happen around New Years, but given the kids social calendars and Danny still being radioactive at the time from a treatment, we decided delaying another week made sense.

The extra time allowed people to really step it up. Danny got Owen three Nationals World Series Baseballs (signed by Zimmerman, Rendon, and Corbin respectively). Owen, harkening back to Christmases of yore, had personalized "Stinky Dog" hot sauce made for Don, with a picture of Pumbaa in a Cubs hat as well as a matching t-shirt. Nancy, having been interviewed by Noa for their Women's History class which resulted in a podcast that culminated in the story of Caroline Harrison releasing ferrets in the White House to combat a rat infestation, gifted Noa a "symbolic adoption for a black-footed ferret" from the World Wildlife Fund, as well as some more cuddly mementos.

But the winner of Fake Christmas was Noa (or rather Mom Mom who was the recipient of Noa's generosity), who painted a portrait of our family enjoying the beach this past summer, and finished up just in time for us to get it framed. Mom Mom was thrilled and it's now proudly on display in the her living room. 

(To see pictures from all of our fake celebrations, click here.)

Power Christmas

Usually when we go to Iowa for Christmas, we drive out and stay for at least a week. But these are unusual times which call for unusual schedules. So instead, this year we flew to Iowa for Christmas Eve Eve and then headed home on St. Stephen's Day.

We weren't alone, as Dave also came out the Tuesday before (Kara stayed in Colorado Spring with the cats). While Allen and the kids went to visit various Fawcetts, I made a grocery run and took the lay of the land, which was when I discovered Dad's cell phone was broken (which explained in part why he hadn't been answering it, which had been maddening since their land line has been intermittent for the past few months making getting ahold of them challenging). This proved providential, though, as it meant that while we were there we could both replace Dad's cell phone, and also get Mom, who has been adamantly opposed to the technology, her own personal cell phone. 

So on Christmas Eve, Allen and Dave took Dad to the T-Mobile store where they were able to update Dad's account and make Mom the reluctant new owner of an i-Phone (which despite her protests, she seemed intrigued by). While they were gone, Noa spent the day making deserts and I prepped Christmas Eve dinner. Steve's family drove out and met us in West Branch for the non-midnight mass, after which we headed home for a lovely dinner, family bonding, and a lot of wine.

The next morning, the hotel that Steve's family was staying at opted not to make the traditional Christmas morning meal, so Dave made scones and we threw together a light brunch before preparing the main meal of the day -- turkey parts (it seems Mom had only bought turkey breasts so we found some turkey thighs the day before in order to MacGyver most of a bird), ham, mashed potatoes with gravy, cranberries, green beans, roasted carrots, rolls, plus Noa's apple tart and Mom's pumpkin pie. After dinner there were games and football, presents, and even more wine.

The next morning, we had a power breakfast and goodbye session before we headed to the airport and Steve's family headed back to Chicago. Dave stuck around for a few more hours to run some additional errands with Mom and Dad before he started the long drive back to Colorado.

So while brief and the first Iowa holiday in a while without a visit from Bernie, it was still a lovely Christmas. 

(To see all the pictures, click here.)

And the Orchestra Played On

It was a strange holiday concert: Allen had to miss it for his last Meeting for Business as Clerk of Friends Meeting of Washington (his three year watch has ended...); Noa's conductor was ill and so another conductor had to sub in; and quite frankly, selections from Carmen seem a far cry from Winter Wonderland. Still, Noa and the rest of DCYOP's Youth Philharmonic did a lovely job playing Wedding Day at Troldhaugen by Edvard Grieg, Crown Imperial by William Walton, and the aforementioned selections from Carmen by Georges Bizet while Mom Mom, Grandpa Don, Megan and myself cheered them on (and got them a boba tea for good measure). 

Party at FMW

Sometime's it's just nice to post a selfie. Elaine had a new dress and we were invited to Virginia's birthday party at FMW with dinner and dancing. It was fun experiencing the space in event mode instead of meeting mode, and while we didn't join in for the contradancing, we enjoyed the music and had a great night out.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has never been my favorite holiday (so many questionable side dishes), but with Owen in college now (and living so close to home), it at least means that we get to celebrate seeing him, even if we do so over stuffing and squash.

Usually when we celebrate Thanksgiving in the DMV, we do so at Nancy and Danny's house, who are famous for their 3-day mole gravy and Danny's perfectly carved turkey (with only one knife related injury in all the years I've been going). But Danny's been undergoing treatments that made the prospect of hosting a bit overwhelming and while Mom Mom was happy to host, she wasn't thrilled to cook the turkey, so Allen offered to cook it at our place and then bring it to Silver Spring.

Owen arrived home Tuesday night and we had tacos to celebrate while Allen, in honor of his father, spatchcocked the turkey in preparation for Thursday. Wednesday, I headed home early to make pumpkin pies and cinnamon rolls for the next day. After a quick meal, Allen and I headed out to meet up for drinks with Molly & Adam who were hosting Pete & Jeannine and Adam's family for Thanksgiving. When we arrived, I was little distracted and so didn't immediately notice (fine, I didn't notice at all until prompted) the lovely new addition to Molly's ring finger: she and Adam were engaged!!!

Understandably, we ended up staying a little longer than we originally intended. As a result, we were moving a little slower the next morning, but we had a lovely breakfast and then I started mixing up rolls and went for a walk while Allen started on the turkey (a little later than he intended per my suggestion, though why he would ever listen to me with regard to cooking any protein...). We ended up being a little late to Sharon & Don's (the turkey took a bit longer and the transport was a bit of a production, involving a cooler with a hot water bottle and towels). Still, everyone was happy with the final product and we had an amazing dinner, an epic marble game, and even had leftovers to take home (which for Allen, included most of his pumpkin pie).

The next day, Allen and Owen got and put up the tree while I went to work and Noa slept. That night, we had Molly & Adam and their whole crew (Adam's parents and sister were also in town to celebrate) over for pizza, the traditional post-Thanksgiving meal. Saturday, Noa was clearly coming down with something, so they slept for most of the day while I decorated the tree and then Allen, Owen and I saw Wicked for Good (Noa was going with friends on Monday so it wasn't too big of a loss). 

Sunday, Allen and I headed to Meeting while Noa continued to sleep (while monitoring) their friends' progress on the scavenger hunt they were supposed to attend but were too sick to make) and Owen did laundry. Once we got home, Owen packed up his car, said his goodbyes, and headed back to school for a few more classes before finals, when he finishes the fall semester and gets to come home for a whole month for Christmas!

(To see all our Thanksgiving pictures, click here.)

Adventures in Boardgaming

Sometimes a plan just comes together. Nabeel and the rest of the Hyatt family decided to travel to Philadelphia for a board-gaming convention – PAX East – to do some research for Nabeel's new side-hustle The Tabletop Library in Berkley, and unofficially promote 'Race to Kepler' the game that Kaden and Liam created and are self-publishing. Somewhat last minute, Nabeel checked to see if Joe and I would want to join. Somehow Joe didn't have work that weekend, and I didn't have plans. Plus since I just missed out on my trip to Brazil because of the shutdown, which enabled Elaine to spend a long weekend in Cape May with Karen, it really seemed like the perfect time to catch a train to Philly for some board gaming adventures. 

I made it into Philly around 11 and met up with the crew in the Lobby of the Hilton which had some ideal tables to camp out at for a long day of gaming. Which is exactly what we did aside from a not so quick excursion to pick up take-out for dinner. Oath, Wild Tiled West, and Tax the Rich being notable games for the day, plus some play-testing of alternate rules for Race to Kepler. I crashed in Joe's room and in the morning we hit the convention floor after breakfast. After racing to pick up a few hard to find games for The Tabletop Library and exploring the convention for a while, we found a table in a high-traffic area near the game library to set up the 'Race to Kepler' banner and play games while Kaden and Liam waited for interested convention goers to ask about their game. We played It's a Wonderful World, Flip 7, and Northgard, taking up most of the day, then after the convention closed for the evening we had dinner at Sampan and went back to the Hilton lobby to play test a prototype of wild west showdown game that Joe has been working on, before I caught the late train back to DC. All told a fun weekend with good friends!

(click here for all the pictures)

Dear Harvey et el

Noa's freshman year at Burke, they were in one fall play, Everybody. Sophomore year there were two fall plays, John Proctor is the Villain (Noa was in the chorus) and Abigail/1702 (which they were not in). 

Burke put on four plays, all focused on social justice, this fall: Dear Harvey (about the legacy of the first openly gay man elected to a major public office in the U.S., with Noa playing Anne Kronenberg, Harvey Milk's campaign manager); #matter (about two former high school classmates, reconnecting on facebook to debate race, with Noa playing Cole, who probably should spend less time on facebook); 8 (about the lawsuit to overturn Proposition 8 which outlawed same-sex marriage in California with Noa playing Sandy Stier, one of the plaintiffs); and All Convenience (the only play Noa wasn't in, that was a short about protecting things that don't need protection simply because they're easier to deal with while other stuff burns).

It was a moving and thought-provoking production which all the more impressive given the amount of characters and dialogue the student-actors had to keep straight. Everyone did an amazing job, though we will note that Noa had the longest monologue of anyone, as Anne Kronenberg, and nailed it.

And while we're all a little relieved that Noa gets a break from rehearsals (though auditions for the spring musical are next week). I'm a little terrified that by my math this means they'll be doing eight plays Noa's senior year...

(To see the Burke official pictures for all the plays, click here.)

43 Day Later...

For the bulk of America's longest shutdown I was home. I cleaned, sorted, scanned pictures, donated books and other items, attempted to volunteer (apparently a number of other displaced feds beat me to it), met friends for drinks or a meal, read, took long walks, and did yoga (none of which made for interesting pictures or blog posts). Five weeks in, my friend Karen mentioned she was headed to her beach house at Cape May and asked if I wanted to join. I was hesitant, as their appeared to be movement in the Senate on November 7th to reopen the government and extend ACA subsidies for a year, but then the Senate majority made it clear Saturday night that they didn't actually want to do that. Given there wasn't an agreement and Tuesday was a holiday, surely I could enjoy four days at the Jersey Shore.

So, we headed out on Sunday morning and were well into Deleware when we learned there was another deal brewing. By Monday, the Senate had approved a CR. While the House, who'd been out of session since they passed their original CR back in September, still had to return to vote, it was looking like the government was going to be open by Thursday, and since I had a a school thing Wednesday night and since Karen's appointment that she thought was Tuesday was actually Wednesday, I bought a train ticket back to DC on Tuesday.

Karen and I still got in some lovely sight-seeing and meals (as well as some Jane Austen courtesy of PBS), but it was a shorter trip than intended, and since I didn't go back the intended route, I wasn't able to stop at the Delaware House to replace one lost duck in a backpack per Noa. Still, I made it home safely Tuesday night in order to have one day to recover and attend College Preview night for Burke Juniors while the House voted on the CR. I then promptly arrived at work on Thursday, November 13th to a backlog of work without adjusted timelines. Fun times!

(To see my pics from Cape May, click here.)

One month in (or more accurately, out)

When the Pandemic happened, there was a question at work about how long it would last and what we would need to take home with us (aside from our laptops).  I was naive at the time, thinking that we would be back in six weeks and probably left a lot of stuff that i missed (particularly shoes).

So when the current shutdown was announced, my coworkers and I were opining on how long we thought it would last and what could be safely left behind. There was a clear divide between people thinking this would be essentially a long weekend and those that thought we would be gone for a while. And while I tended to fall in the latter category (I definitely brought home shoes and candy), I really didn't think it would last this long.

As an intermittent excepted person, I assumed that I would be out for the long haul, but shockingly, there actually was a statistical issue regarding employee benefits involving human life or property, and so I was called into the office for a few hours 28 days after I was I was told to leave.

It was quiet at the Department of Labor. Most of the workers deemed essential are allowed to work remotely during the shutdown so there was only a skeleton crew in the office. This also meant that most of the entrances are closed and it took me four attempts to get inside the building. Once there, I spent a few hours working and also catching up with my boss, who was scheduled to retire the end of the month, but has extended his tenure until the end of the year in the hopes that we'll have reopened and transitioned back to regular days by then.

We shall see...

A Return to Hawking

Last year we attended our inaugural St. Marys' Hawktoberfest, and while overall we had a great time, we felt that for our second outing, some adjustments should be made. For instance, given Owen, as President of SMCM's Softball Club is in an active feud with the varsity baseball coach, maybe we should skip the varsity vs alumni baseball game. Since Noa gets seasick and hated the river cruise last year, suppose we don't go on it. And in response to both children being horrified by the annual crab boil and resulting in Allen eating 12 crabs (both his and Owen's servings – we knew enough to opt for the vegetarian option for Noa) in record time while the kids waited outside the dinner tent before we had to head back to DC to make a Billy Bragg concert that night, we opted for take-out and an extra night in Ridge, MD.

But the two things we insisted on were renting a house on the water (though this year we went to the the other side of the peninsula for the bay and sound instead of the river) and making sure that all of us made it to the Great Bamboo Race (Noa opted for a nap last year) and even invited the Telfair-Chas to join us since Gabriel was back for his fall break.

We headed down to St. Mary's Thursday night after Noa's fall conference (they're doing great) and Owen's softball practice (eight members showed), checked into the house and made dinner. Afterwards, Noa and I crashed while Allen and Owen enjoyed both National League and American League Championship Series playoff games. Owen woke up early Friday morning to drive back to campus for his French class while Noa slept, Allen had a call, and I enjoyed kayaking in the sound. Once Owen returned and Noa eventually woke up, we picked up lunch, played games for a bit, had nap time, and picked up our official Hawktoberfest welcome package followed by a quick stop at the Dollar Store for provisions (the local grocery store for Ridge). When we returned, the kids opted to play catch while Allen and I decided to go explore the beach so that Allen could scout out locations for this year's Holiday card. As light started to change, we headed back to change into our approved outfits and started corralling the children for pictures. It didn't go well, culminating in Noa slipping while climbing on some rocks and soaking their shoe and pants. After a break which involved drying their shoes and them changing pants, we were eventually able to snap a lovely family portrait during sunset before heading to dinner, where Allen and Owen watched more playoff games on their phone.

The next morning, Allen and I got up earlyish to do some more exploring in the sound before returning to the house to enjoy a pancake breakfast having successfully procured syrup from the Dollar Store the day before followed by some more games and some napping while we waited for the Telfair-Chas to arrive. After they got there, we showed Steve and Megan the disappearing shoreline at high tide while Owen and Gabriel explored the road and Noa continued to nap. Once they awoke, we head to campus where we toured Owen's dorm room and headed to the river to inspect the race's entries, and partake in funnel cake and other snacks as the heats started. This year, there were only enough seaworthy vessels for two heats and only four boats made it past the start line for the first one (one of which sunk halfway on the course) and only three boats made it for the second heat which meant they all made it to the finals and no rowers were hurt in the races.

Afterwards, we stopped for takeout (and wine!) and headed back to the house to hang out for a few hours before the Telfair-Chas headed back to DC and we crashed. The next morning, we packed up the house, took one more picture on the beach and then said goodbye to Owen until Thanksgiving as he headed to school and the rest of headed back to DC.

(To see all of this year's Hawktoberfest pictures, click here.)

Damn, Yankees

When you come from a family that loves baseball and musicals, and the greatest lover of said game has a fall break when the local theater helms a revivals of Damn Yankees, you immediately buy tickets (well, after you explain to any family member that might have confused the musical with 1776 that it doesn't involve the Continental Congress). And while ideally you would have bought tickets when the youngest member of said family didn't have the PSATs, well, as the Yankees find out, you can't win them all!

Shutdown

The betting markets were correct: Congress was unable to reach a budget deal (or a CR) and so on October 1st the government shutdown. As the head of a non-enforcement office, I was deemed "intermittent excepted" which means i am non-essential unless there's a research or statistical issue in the employee benefits space involving human life or property that only I can solve. Which is to say, I'm probably home for the duration. Given that the Speaker is refusing to even let the House meet and the the Senate is continuing to debate whether we as a country want people's health insurance premiums to double, I'll probably be home for a while.

The last major shutdown Labor was funded while EPA was not, which resulted in a rather extensive home renovation project. The one before that, we were both off and so at least we had company. Since Allen moved to the pseudo-private sector (which means he's currently funded but given the government is one of their major funders, he only has a few weeks before he has to start furloughing staff), I'm alone this go round and have spent my time catching up on doctor's appointment, cleaning our John's old files, making Good Will runs, and doing a lot of yoga.

It's a weird shutdown (which I can say with some authority, having been through a number of these now), in that there doesn't appear to be any negotiations happening and so it's not clear how long this will go on and what will be left if and when it does end. Which is frustrating, because I first moved to Washington thirty years ago because I really believed that government was the means to making the world a better place, and it's really hard to do that if it doesn't exist.

Homecoming 2025

The theme for Burke's Homecoming this year was neon, which meant a trip to a craft store, a trip to a fabric store, an order from Amazon, some late night sewing, a manicure, and a hair touch-up.  It also meant a pre-party which involved more manicures (this time for others), spaghetti, and a scenic drive to school which almost resulted in their being locked out (Burke doesn't allow entry after 8:30 pm and requires students stay until 10:00 pm). And while the DJ may have been lacking, a fun time was had by all.

Uncle Bernie (1942 - 2025)

When we were at the beach, I got a text from my cousin Molly that Uncle Bernie was in the hospital following some complaints about dizziness and blurry vision. Initially they thought it was pneumonia and some indeterminant infection, but after further tests they determined he had Legionnaires disease (apparently there was an outbreak in Marshall county that continues to grow exponentially). He was transferred from Marshalltown to Waterloo where he passed away a few days later – one week after his initial symptoms.

Bernie loomed large in my childhood, which was somewhat surprising given he left to do mission work in Bolivia when I was four and would only visit sporadically until he moved back to Iowa in the mid 1980s. He remained there for a few years before going to Peru in the mid-1990s before returning permanently to the Dubuque diocese in 1998. While based in South America, he would still come back for big events and the off family reunion –– he was there for my cousin Brandon's and my First Communion, my Aunt Ellen's wedding and my cousin Brett's baptism. During those visits, he would entertain his nieces and nephews with rides on his motorcycle (in typical Grady fashion we all sported homemade t-shirts following a major motorcycle accident he had), document their potty-training progress, play cards with them (he was a brazen, though entertaining, cheater), and organize the occasional fishing excursion. The latter permanently turned me off the sport, for while Christ believed in teaching a man to fish, Father Bernie's approach was to hand his eight year old niece a fish and a knife, send her off to clean it but with no instructions, only to then yell at her when she returned having mistakenly cut off its tail.

While abroad our communications were limited to audio tapes we would send (where we subjected him to our first musical explorations, including my early days learning the oboe); international calls at my grandparents farm (the farm was only a few years removed from party lines and as it was pre-deregulation, still subject to Ma Bell's whims, the result was astronomical rates by the minute and meant that as a young child I would be yelled at to come talk to my Uncle Bernie and then immediately screamed at to get off the phone since it was so expensive); and my far preferred method of communicating with Bernie, via post.

When I was younger, I would get really excited to see the international envelopes appear in the mail –– the thin paper with the crazy stamps and Bernie's manual type-written thoughts. Over time, he tended to prefer postcards (though occasionally he would send a more traditional letter which would include a pack of his address labels to facilitate my response). Towards the end, instead of writing back, he would just call me to thank me for my letter and chat.

Despite the distance, we spent a fair amount of time together. I was the most conveniently located niece for a while, and so was teased tirelessly, from my name (he always called me Lady Elaine, which I hated when I was little since I thought he was implying I was the ugly puppet on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood), to the tragedy of having been born a girl (which Bernie would often tell me, meant I couldn't do anything), to my cooking skills (I still won't eat banana pancake after he beat me in a cook-off). But he was also a calming presence who would quietly play Russian Bank with me for hours and silently turn on the hazards and tell me to go slow while I was driving through a torrential downpour.

Bernie was the first extended family member I told when I got engaged, hoping that he could marry Allen and me. And he eventually sort of did, after spending 11 months getting us a dispensation. He baptized both of our children (free of charge). It's hard to digest that he won't be here for all the other big moments in our lives.

I was able to see him twice when I was back in Iowa this summer –– once at my parent's place and then again a week later for lunch in a small town I'd never heard of. We didn't get to talk much (his hearing has been challenging and whenever Gradys gather, the cacophony can be overwhelming), which I really, really regret.

He had an amazing send off. Hundreds gathered for both his vigil and funeral mass (which was in both English and Spanish). Dave spoke. Teresa, Kevin, Colleen, and Blaine sang. I mostly cried. Bernie was a good man whom I really, really loved and am going to deeply miss.

I always ended letter to Bernie with quote. And so in the immortal words of V.E. Schwab in The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue,

That time always ends a second before you're ready.

That life is the minutes you want minus one.

Labors of Love

Labor Day coincided with Noa's birthday and Owen's move-in day for college. Knowing this was the case, we had packed up the car (well, Owen and Allen had) and celebrated Noa's birthday (take-out from Toki Underground followed by gelato and a family game night) the night before. The next morning, we wished Noa a happy 16th, watched them open their presents, and then headed out with Owen for what we assumed would be a fairly straightforward move.

Funny thing about college move-ins: when you're a freshman there are all sorts of friendly people there to unload your car and carry your stuff and help with everything. When you're a sophomore, there's just you and your aging parents, parked really far away from your room, which no one direct you to and so it takes a surprisingly long time to find. Then when you do find it, you realize since you changed dorms at the last minute, you have the worst room in the suite, with only one window and no working overhead lights, and you have to move all the furniture since your roommate is not scheduled to arrive for another six hours (and when he does he realizes he forgot to pack sheets and pillows so he has to make an emergency run to Target).

Anyway, five hours later (which included a lovely lunch break), Owen was happily situated (though poorly lit) and we were finally on our way home where we arrived to find Noa and their friends enjoying a moving (having already played several games). We crashed upstairs while Noa made a lovely pesto pasta meal for the friends followed by ice cream and Munchkin before all their friends left the house and all that remained went to bed (after a quick check in with Owen).

It was a rather abrupt end of summer, but hopefully the start to a wonderful school year.

(To see all the pictures, click here.)

Sweet Sixteen

Fifteen was an interesting year. With Owen leaving for college, Noa suddenly became an "only" child and our primary focus, which they had mixed feelings about. Sure, it was great that meals involved more sauces and less meat, but it also meant that when we asked how school was, there was no way to hide. They grew frustrated and asked for more space, which we gave until their teachers grew frustrated and we had to intervene. So fifteen was a learning year for us all – we learned to trust but verify and Noa learned that inactions also have consequences.

And also how much they missed their brother.

But aside from that, it was a pretty amazing year. Noa (finally) had a named character in a high school production (granted that name was "Baroness Elberfeld," but still). They sang in the spotlight and exhibited their work at an actual art gallery. They protested the new administration's stance on trans rights. They made Dutch babies and potato mochi and cake batter (though not always cakes). They started an affinity group. They volunteered at a food kitchen. They went to NYC without us (but with their director, their friends and some of their friends' parents). They went to Homecoming and the Spring Dance. They played in ensembles and team sports. They studied funerals (still not clear on why, but it was for school). They made movies. And they spent a lot of time with some pretty amazing friends.

Which is all to say, Noa contains frickin' multitudes. So happy birthday, little one, we love you and hope sixteen is amazing. Now go do your homework.

1. It can be confusing when your emotional support animal is also your captor.
2. Always trust in our Lord and savior, Billy Joel 
3. I'd hug you too dad, but Mom is more conveniently located.
4. Sometimes, it's all about perspective.
5. Live in a rainbow of chaos.
6.  Setting the tavern on fire to get out of a conversation that was going well?!? Ok Lysander, there are consequences to our actions.
7. It's not a gambling problem if you always win.
8. Here's the thing about a barbecue...
9. Let's be honest, kids are a lot.
10. And in the immortal words of KPOP Demon Hunters, It's the beginning of a new chapter for us. For the whole world. We're so excited to show you what's next.

Family Selfie!

Sneaking in one more cuddle time family selfie before Noa turns 16 and Owen heads back to college :-)

At the Carwash...

Noa asked for two thing for their birthday: a fancy camera and a carwash. The latter made a far more entertaining video...

Janis Lynne Keplinger (1947 - 2025)

My aunt Janis passed away while we were at the beach this year. While she had her share of health problems, it still came as a shock. We got word she was taken to intensive care, and Mom was looking into flights to cut the beach trip short to go down to Texas, but but she didn't last the night. At least we were together as family to support each other, Noa even had a long long talk with Mom Mom about grief.

Janis was the middle of three sisters that always fit into those roles – mom the super accomplished firstborn, Duronda the fun outgoing youngest, and Janis the quiet, kind, artistic middle child. Janis was the one Pop Pop said reminded him most of Mom Mom, not because of her personality or resemblance, but because of the way she made him a better person.

I flew down to Austin to be with family for Janis' memorial service. It was a quick trip, flying in Friday morning with just enough time to stop by campus to walk by the Econ department and grab some breakfast tacos before going to the service at 11am. Afterwards, Mom and I went back to stay with Joe & Holly at their new house in New Braunfels. Janis had moved in with them and it was really wonderful to hear about how excited Janis was about the new house and living with Joe & Holly. We're all glad they had that time together.

The memorial itself was lovely. It was good to see Duronda & Don, catch up with Carrie, and spend some time with Joe & Holly. Don spoke first at the service, then Mom shared some wonderful memories of her sister. She even used a quote from Noa to close her eulogy for Janis – "She had a great life and that reminds of the beautiful life ahead of us."

OBX 2025

Sometimes the stars align so that your children's school years don't start until after the discount summer beach rental season starts. And sometimes that alignment also corresponds with a Category 2 hurricane. Still, despite the storms, Grandpa Don not being able to walk much, and some sad family news, we still managed to have a lovely time and a lot of togetherness.

New to this year was each of the kids took over cooking duties for one night (Noa actually took over duties for one night, one brunch and assisted Owen in his night). We also celebrated Owen's 19th birthday which, due to him aging out (and not having a suitable floorspace), did not involve a banner but did involve one of Mom Mom's cakes. 

There was some body boarding before Hurricane Erin and  some skim boarding after. There were games and puzzles and lots of baseball watching (though not that much baseball winning by the Nats). There were fancy dinners out and fancy dinners in. There was a lovely pool with a not so lovely pool deck (which Owen discovered when he cut his foot kicking a beach ball). And there was bocci (which of course Allen won).

But mostly, there was a lot of much needed family time. And the best thing is, we have the same place next year around the same time (but hopefully without a hurricane).

(To see all the pictures, click here.)

The End of the Teens

Owen left for college a few days after his 18th birthday. As a result, we haven't necessarily directly observed a lot of what transpired this past year, but have been privy to the results. College was a bit of an adjustment, especially his first semester when some of his organizational challenges came home to roost (though the class he struggled with most, some variant of Intro to Life, might have been more of an indictment of Allen and my parenting skills). But Owen found his footing and finished his Freshman year thriving at SMCM. 

He joined the Climbing Club and Fencing Team and even became an officer in the Softball Club. He purchased mason jars at CVS and then drove to the shore in order to collect water samples for his Chemistry class. He registered and voted and then talked me down from the ledge when the results came in. He purchased Christmas presents for the whole family. He did his laundry regularly. He formed study groups. And he even came home for his Father's Birthday, for various holidays and Opening Day.

When he came home for the summer (or rather late Spring – St. Mary's gets out early), we found that over the course of two semesters, Owen had become a fully formed adult. He applied for a job and wrote a cover letter and arranged an interview and when he didn't get it, he pivoted to volunteer work at Meeting. He emptied the dishwasher unprompted. He made dinner. He made plans and drove around the monuments at night with friends.

But through it all, he still made time for his family. So while we're sad that he's heading back to St. Mary's soon (or rather soonish – St, Mary's also starts really late), we know that Owen will always come home. Happy birthday, Little Man, we love you so, so much.

1. Life is all about balance.
2. When God closes a door, He opens a window.
3. Some portals are magical. Others are filled with inaccurate scheduling information on Intro to Chemistry classes.
4. You've got a fast car (ok, maybe not that that fast...)
5. Disengage, beat, disengage, lunge.
6. When faced with being a Cassian or a Syril, always be a Cassian.
7. Don't just make a Mario level, make a whole world.
8. Wouldn't pitcher wins be a better stat if each game's outcome was recalculated with league average runs support?
9. You can never have enough parsley (unless it's dry and from Costco).
10. And in the immortal words of the 12th Doctor, I'm not trying to win. I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because I want to blame someone. It's not because it's fun. God knows it's not because it's easy. It's not even because it works because it hardly ever does... I DO WHAT I DO BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT! Because it's decent! And above all, it's kind! It's just that... Just kind.

Down East

I intended to do something significant to commemorate Allen's fiftieth birthday, but as the occasion occurred just a few weeks into the new administration and things were going badly (though in retrospect, not as badly as they would go...), I wasn't really up for party planning. So I punted. We went out for a lovely dinner and I reached out to the wives of his closest friends to see if they were interested in a joint birthday trip in the summer to celebrate their spouses' 50ths as well (well, except Nabeel, who as the baby of the group would only be celebrating his 48th). They were interested, but after a few months of throwing out dates and locations (Asheville, pre-flood; Iceland, pre-international incidents; Chicago pre-military threat...), I gave up. And then Megan suggested Maine, a long weekend in August, and made a reservation at a lovely bed and breakfast, and we were back in business. Thank you Megan!

So shortly after returning from Iowa, Allen and I left the kids (I mean, Owen is an adult) and flew off to Kennebunkport, Maine to hang with Nabeel & Megan and Joe & Cate for a collective 50th birthday (or honorary 50th for Nabeel).

Joe & Cate had flown out early for some hiking and more rustic accommodations, and so were kind enough to pick us up from the airport, before we all went out for the first of many lobster rolls.  We then headed to the Captains Collection to check in, play a little bridge and wait for Nabeel & Megan, who were driving up from Boston where Megan was visiting a friend while waiting for Nabeel to arrive from a gaming convention in Indianapolis where he and his sons debuted the new deckbuilding game they had created, and Nabeel stocked up on provisions for the weekend.

Once we were checked in, we headed to the shore to explore before dining at Mabel's Lobster Claw followed by the first night of games for the boys (Dorfromantik). Some people opted for an early walk/jog and coffee the next morning, while others of us took a more leisurely morn followed by breakfast at the hotel (breakfast sandwiches, homemade yogurt, fruit, and various pastries) before we embarked on the Marginal Way cliff walk which culminated in an ice cream break (followed by a boys' Innovation session when we got back to the hotel).

After some naps and several hours of gaming for the boys, we headed to Earth for the official belated (or prospective in the case of Nabeel) birthday dinner. As an added birthday present, the ladies joined in for a round of Oh No, We Crashed! before we left the boys to enjoy Joe's contribution to the fun fest, Deep Regrets.

When planning activities for the trip, Joe had suggested a whale watching expedition, but Allen knowing that I get horribly seas sick (though apparently not as badly as Nabeel) thought the 4 hour excursion to see whales would be rough and instead suggested a 2 hour tour closer to shore on the schooner Eleanor, built by its Captain. We agreed and got a lovely tour of the coast including a siting of the Bush Compound before heading back to land for a late lunch.

After some more nap time (and maybe some Campy Creatures?) we had our last dinner at Chez Rosa before an epic evening of sleep for some of us, and Graft for others.

The next morning we had an early breakfast at the hotel while the gamers got in one last birthday round of Innovation before enjoying Food & Wine's top rated lobster roll and heading back to our respective homes with lots of fun memories, and ironically, no Deep Regrets!

(To see all of our Maine pictures, click here.)

Iowa 2025

Given how our trip to Iowa went last summer, I was a bit anxious about returning this year, particularly with Dad having had a stroke back in April in addition to all of his memory issues. But this year Allen didn't have to travel to Washington mid-visit, Mom willingly went to her doctor's appointment (and got a relatively clean bill of health), and Dad seems to have stabilized a bit, so even though I had to spend most of the visit working on a regulation (though because remote work no longer counts in the government, I still had to take leave) and Allen was on work calls throughout our stay, we were still able to enjoy much of our time in Iowa.

There was Cornfest (Allen narrowly beat Thomas for a third place showing in the corn-eating contest, though likely only because Ethan wasn't able to compete this year), and corn picking, corn shucking, and corn harvesting (which are seperate but related action items). There were family floats in the pond and covered wagon trips. There were visits with distant Gradys and nearby Fawcetts. There were projects that we weren't actually drafted into helping but we did, in the spirit of John, inspect.

Moreover, after two months of Mom and Dad not having a landline (which, since Mom refuses to get a cell phone, meant there was no way to contact her and only limited ways to contact Dad), we finally got them a workaround. Granted, the workaround (which involved using their internet rather than a traditional landline) only worked for a day before their internet provider (who had been providing their landline) decided that transferring the landline meant that we were cancelling internet service which upon following up with them, would take two weeks to reinstall. Fortunately, Allen got ahold of a real person who got actual people to come out that day and get everything back online.

Plus, dad got a haircut (which is hard to do in Iowa City than one might think), we did another Good Will run, and we even managed to get in an early anniversary dinner for Mom and Dad. That plus some amazing Iowa sunsets, made for a lovely visit and a needed reprieve from DC life.

(To see all the Iowa pictures, click here.)

Folk Life

While Noa typically eschews summer music programs, they were surprisingly amenable to performing with DCYOP for the Smithsonian Folk Life Festival and even willingly went to hours long practices (some of which ran even longer) in the middle of the day at a random middle school. The day of the actual performance they were less excited, which may have been due to the heat, or the thunderstorms, or the delayed sound check that the crowd thought was the actual performance with a fastidious conductor that kept cutting off the orchestra mid-piece.

Nevertheless, Noa persisted and made it through the entire performance of Dvorak's Legend, Nabor's Distant Worlds, and Vaughn William's English Folk Song, before the heavens opened up and we all rushed home.

Baseball Fireworks

For our own little Independence Day celebration, Owen and I went to the Nats v. Tigers game on the 3rd to see the both the literal and figurative fireworks. The Tigers jumped on top with three runs in the first, but the Nats answered with five runs in the bottom of the first, and Owen and I enjoyed it all having dinner out at the Red Porch. James Wood had a career best 5-for-5 game with a home run to celebrate announcing he was going to join the home run derby at the All Star Game, and the Nats beat the Tigers 11 to 7. To cap it all off we stuck around for the real fireworks show after the game too :-)

Time for some wrinkles

Noa wasn't a huge fan of how much the Wrinkle in Time musical strayed from the book, but it was fun having a family night out with Owen home from college! 

Ice Cave!

I had another trip to Snowmass for a conference this summer and with our free afternoon on the last day of the conference I convinced Jim, Ben, and Destiny to go for a hike where we would take the Silver Queen Gondola to the top of Aspen Highlands and hike back down to town for dinner. Destiny was torn between joining us and another group that was looking for an outing with minimal exertion, but the promise of it being a downhill hike won her over. Our plans were thwarted though when we got into Aspen and found that the gondola was closed for a private event as part of the Aspen Food & Wine Festival.

Looking for an alternate plan, we briefly considered renting e-bikes to ride up to Maroon Bells, but Ben came up with a better idea when he suggested we hike the grottos trail to the ice caves. We called a Lyft and on the short drive to the grottos up towards Independence pass we lost all cell service and started to wonder how we would get back. Happily, after a quick negotiation with our driver, she agreed to come back and pick us up in an hour and a half at the spot she dropped us off. After she left though, we realized we were not at the head of the grottos trail, but at the rock fall by the road above the actual caves. We realized this wasn't the right spot after some fun rock scrambling that was a bit more than Destiny bargained for. Thankfully it wasn't too much of a walk back down the road to the real entrance to the trail, and the actual hike was an easy short loop that also took us by some glacial erratics and waterfalls. 

The highlight though was the ice caves themselves. Formed by glacial forces, the grottos were beautiful. It was a bit of scrambling to climb down into the grottos, and footing was tricky on the ice. The rest of the crew was tempted to just look in from above, but once I saw the view from around the bend into the caves, I told everyone this wasn't to be missed. 

When it was time to head back, Ben and I agreed to hike back up to the drop off spot to meet our driver and we'd come back to pick up Jim and Destiny. After our pick up time passed we started to get a bit nervous about getting back to Aspen, so I scrambled up the rocks to try to get a clear view of the sky for a satellite connection. It took some work, but I was able to get a signal and text our driver, and sure enough she was on her way just running a bit late. She picked us up, and we were shortly back in Aspen having a wonderful dinner. 

And on Saturday I flew home just in time for Elaine and I to at least spend the evening of our 22nd anniversary together. Hopefully one of these years Elaine will actually be able to join me for a summer Snowmass trip!

(click here for all the pictures)

The Dove

On our trip to St. Mary's for Parent's Weekend last fall we did a tour of the Maryland Dove – a replica of the Boyer rigged pinnace that along with the Ark began the Maryland Colony in 1634. While I was discussing the sail plan, standing and running rigging, and the challenges of an elm pump not made of elm with the deck hands, Elaine thought to ask about public sails. She filed that away, and for Father's Day this year Elaine arranged for Owen, Don, and I to go sailing on the Dove!

The weather looked questionable the week leading up to our sail, but we ended up having a beautiful sunny day. A little more wind would have been nice, but as Captain Laaro said, we'd let the wind take us where she wanted to at the speed of discovery. It was great fun unfurling the main topsail, and setting the mizzen lateen sail, the staysail, the jib, and the sprit mainsail. We went down stream for a bit jibing a few times before the wind shifted and we headed back upstream past Church Point and into view of campus and the Saint Mary's boathouse. The crew handled the pinnace impressively and gave us a nice history lesson to boot. 

After the sail we went back up to Mom & Don's and spent the night avoiding the parade downtown while Noa was off having a sleepover with friends. Mom picked up bagels and lox for our Father's Day breakfast, then we headed home for a chill rest of our Father's Day before my trip out to Snowmass on Monday.

(click here for all the pictures)

Nerdy Prudes Must Die!

For their art credit for spring semester at Burke, Noa signed up for Music Composition. When the administration cancelled that class, they placed Noa into Singing in the Spotlight. Noa was not particularly pleased with this development, as it was not on any list of classes that Noa indicated they wanted to take. But inertia is a thing, and teenagers that are informed they can either take the class they are currently enrolled in, or drop the class, find a suitable replacement that fits into their schedule, and submit all the associated paperwork to do so, tend to just go with the flow. Hence, Noa's performance of Just for Once from Nerdy Prudes Must Die.

Allen was out of town which meant I was charged with recording Noa, a fact I did surreptitiously because I wasn't sure if they were ok with it (they were). I was assured afterwards that my poor craftsmanship didn't matter since the school had also recorded the program (using a tripod and filters and other helpful, quality improving tools) and would make their recording available. However, they did not. So here is Noa, mostly in frame though blurry, performing their solo from Singing in the Spotlight. Enjoy!

(To see all the stills of Noa performing that Burke did provide, click here.)

Chess Club

When you've both started playing online chess, it's good to have your sibling home to play in person :-)

Rivalry Week

With Owen's deep dive into baseball fandom this year, he made a plan for all the games he wanted to see this summer. First on the list was a drive up to Baltimore to see a Nats v. O's rivalry week game. Owen reached out to his oldest friend Leo and the two of them made plans together and kindly invited the dad's to join along. So Leo, Owen, Micah and I made the trek up to Camden Yards for a 4pm game on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. The Nats made it worth the trip, jumping out to a 6-0 lead in the top of the first, piling on a bad week for the O's who just fired their manager after a disappointing start to a season with high expectations. The middle innings were mostly quiet (and a perfect opportunity for a delicious crab cake sandwich) with a bit of excitement in the 9th as the Nats scored three more runs for a 10-2 lead, and the Jackson Holliday hit a 3-run homer for the O's in the bottom of the 9th before the Nats closed it out for a 10-6 win.

 

Birthday Girls

We had a pretty quiet celebration of Elaine's real birthday at home on Tuesday, just some sushi at home and a very nice bottle of Sancerre. Mother's Day celebration on Sunday with Noa and I making brunch and homemade pasta for dinner, plus a long day of work on Tuesday meant we didn't plan too much for the actual day. However, we did make plans to jointly celebrate Elaine and Megan's birthdays on Friday with a lovely meal at Rose's Luxury. One of the benefits of our Pineapples & Pearls dinner for Don was a gift certificate to Rose's, and what better way to use it than going out with Steve & Megan to celebrate the birthdays of two amazing and wonderful women. The dinner was amazing and it is wonderful to have such good friends to share it with.

Return of the Teen

It was just two weeks ago that Owen headed back to school following Easter dinner, so it seems kind of crazy that he is already home, having successfully completed his freshman year of college (technically he's still waiting on his Chemistry grade, but still...). Even crazier, Owen had the last possible final at St. Marys (7 pm on Monday May 5th), which meant that most of campus had already cleared out before he was even done. It also meant that when we arrived at 10 am on Tuesday morning, Owen had already packed, staged all his his stuff (having done his laundry the might before), and cleaned the room, so that it only took 30 minutes to load up the cars and take him home for the summer (it would have been even faster if one of the glass shelves in his refrigerator hadn't broken).

Once we arrived back and unloaded the cars, Allen and I went off to do some work while Owen reacquainted himself with his room. Fortunately, Allen only had to work for a few hours before he and Owen left to catch the last few innings of the first of a Nats-Guardians double header, which was fortunate as the first game ended with a come from behind National's victory while the second...didn't. And while that's probably not how Owen hoped the night would end, overall it was still a pretty good start to his summer.

He has Driven

One of the best things about Owen attending St. Mary's, is that he's only 90 minutes away, which means he can easily come home for important things, like Allen's birthday, Opening Day, and Easter. As something as an homage to all three, Owen had scheduled St. Mary's Club Softball practice for midday on Holy Saturday, which meant that Allen got to play softball with a bunch of college kids before driving Owen back to DC for 24 hours of family fun. Once there, we ordered take-out and had a mandatory family game night – Munchkin Edition – which ended epically when Noa took down Owen by playing the Wand of Dousing to find the Divine Intervention card allowing all clerics to go up a level giving the joint win to Noa and Allen (who really was just along for the ride, but Noa was feeling nice).

The next morning we had a lovely family brunch before heading up to Mom Mom and Grandpa Don's for Easter dinner with special guests Nancy and Danny. Sharon made an impressive spread including salmon, couscous, roasted carrots, salad, and a delicious white chocolate cake. We even got to end the night with a round of marbles with Sharon emerging victorious (despite all of Nancy's efforts to destroy her).

After saying our farewells, we headed home where Allen quickly packed up his car and then drove the 90 minutes back to St. Marys for his last two weeks of his freshman year of college.

Opening Day!

It's always beautiful when peak bloom lines up with Opening Day. Owen drove up from SMCM after his last class in the morning and Mom Mom & Grandpa Don joined us to watch the Nats take on the Phillies. The weather had been iffy all week, but sunny skies and temperatures in the upper 50s made for a gorgeous day at the Nats Park. Keibert Ruiz homered to give the Nats an early lead, and MacKenzie Gore pitched a gem with 13Ks, 0 BBs, and only giving up one hit in six dominant innings. The Phillies scored in the top of the 7th and 8th to take the lead, and the Nats battled back to tie it in the bottom of the 8th. The game went to extra innings and things fell apart for the Nats eventually losing 7-3, but it was an encouraging start to what we hope will be an exciting season of baseball!

(click here for all the pictures)